The Taste of Cow Brains, and Writing What You Know

The following is published in Southern Writer's Magazine this month. In case you don't read that magazine, this is for you!

            Most writers out there will likely never have a scene where a character tries eating cow brains. So why am I bringing it up?

            Because I have. I lived in Bangladesh for two years, and during those years I got to ride rickshaws, take pictures of goat heads lined up for sale at the market, wear six yards of silk in equatorial heat, and yes, eat cow brains (and bone marrow in case you’re impressed). I also got to experience a new culture and learn that the way I think isn’t the only way to think, and the way I view the world isn’t the only way to view it. Branching outside myself into that new world has broadened my horizons significantly as far as writing possibilities—not just topics, but in creating multidimensional characters utilizing the vastly different perspectives people can have.

Cow brains on a plate, from the chicken tikka stand. Why cow brains instead of chicken brains? I don't know. Maybe the chicken brains were too small.

            They say you should write what you know. I’m not sure who “they” are, but it is wise advice. You can write about tasting cow brains using only your imagination, but if you’ve never done it, you probably wouldn’t think to say that it was the texture that was the hardest to get down—something akin to eating a grainy kind of play-dough.  Not fun.

            I have never had the inclination to write a book in a European setting, or a Latin American setting. I don’t know those places. I could research, but it wouldn’t be same. Because I lived in Bangladesh, however, I came to know some of the Asian way of thinking. How it felt to try to remember not to point my foot in anyone’s direction or ever use my left hand or in some places never look a man in the eye. I know what it felt like to travel in a rickshaw through the haze of smoke and congestion of the city, what it felt like to see a robbery at knifepoint, or the swarm and clutter of over 130 million people cramped into a country not much bigger than North Carolina.

            It’s what I know, so of course, when I was ready to write my first series, Christian suspense/romance novels on international human trafficking, I set them in South Asia. My character experienced the new culture firsthand, just as I did. And because it is what I know, I was able to express her feelings and reactions in a very real way.

            Real is powerful. Powerful makes for a good story.

            That’s not to say you can’t ever branch out. There are multitudes of writers out there who do excellent research and can weave a story that takes readers to places the author has never been, or into situations and feelings the author has never experienced.

            However, I think the most powerful books I have read, even if they are fiction, seem to delve deeply into the author’s own personal experience—either through their own memories, or the subjects they are most passionate about, or the things they themselves are struggling with.

            So what are you meant to write? If you’re feeling stumped, here are a few questions to ask yourself: What experiences have you had that would resonate with people? (Have you lost a spouse? Survived cancer? Traveled the world? Been mugged? Felt writer’s block?—ha, had to throw that one in there!)  What are you most passionate about? (What makes you most angry? Most excited? What topic gets your heart rate up every time it comes up?)

            You have your own unique voice. Your experiences and goals and struggles and heartaches all combine together into something you can share with the world. Maybe your non-fiction story will help people deal with things. Or maybe your fiction story will entertain them while also resonating with their deepest struggles.

            Whatever it is, it is you. Your most powerful writing will come when you write what you know, and what you care about, because that is who you are.



Related Posts: Why Do You Write? 

Writing What I Know 

Writing Wednesdays: How to Write Your Memoir (in a NOT Boring Way!)

Last week we talked about why to write a memoir and the different kinds of approaches. Now that you know what style of memoir you want, the next step is to start writing!

However, if you don't want to just start at the beginning and end at the end (the so-in-so was born on this date at this place style, which is usually boring), you need a strategy to get started.

Get out a piece of paper and a pen and mark numbers 1-3. Then think through your life or the life of the person you are writing about. What are the three most significant seasons of your life?

For example, for me, I put:
1. Having health problems, specifically getting diagnosed with Addison's disease and when Hope was born--preeclampsia, eeclampsia, seizures, fluid on brain, wondering if I was going to die.

2. Living overseas in several countries, learning about cultures.

3. Writing then speaking about human trafficking, my books becoming bestsellers and making a difference.



Once you have your 3 main seasons, under each write the word "Moment" and list the most striking moment you can remember within each of the seasons.  Again, for example, here are mine:

1. Lying in the MRI machine, wondering if this day would be my last.

2. The day a riot started while I was on the street in a rickshaw, or the time I ate cow brains. =)

3. The first time I met a person who'd been trafficked.

Now, in my opinion, these 3 seasons are going to propel the force of your book, but you don't just want a random collection of stories. People want to know why they are reading something, and most of the time, unless they're related to you, they don't just want a bunch of memories. They want memories with a purpose, a lesson. Either what you did right and learned from, or what you did wrong and learned from.

So under your 3 seasons, write the phrase "The main idea I want my reader to take away:" and then think through what the biggest lesson of your life story is.  Mine:

God's dreams for us are better than our dreams for ourselves, even when it feels like He is taking everything away.

Now you have a theme that will carry through your 3 seasons, and all the other things that will fill in the holes.

Write about your 3 seasons, starting with your moment and working your way through that moment. Next chapter you can give the more practical details like time and place and era.  For example:

I start the first chapter with me lying in the MRI machine, wondering if I'm going to die that day. The reader does not know any details of why I am there, what is going on, how old I am, etc. But if the scene is written well, the reader will be so taken into the scene that they want to continue reading to find out the answers to the mystery I have presented. The next chapter I would tell the full story of how I ended up in the MRI, then work my way through to the end lesson learned. Back and forth throughout that first third of the book, I will tell older and newer stories that go with this main idea.

Then I can move on to the next significant season, doing the same. You can even have a new theme idea for each of the 2-3 parts of your book. Perhaps even split the book into a before Christ and after Christ 2 parts. Or before you learned your lesson and after you learned your lesson. For me, my book would go something like this:

1. Start with the intense scene in the MRI, leaving the reader with the question, how did this happen and how did you get to this point?

2. From there I would go back to moving overseas, all my big dreams and ideals, all the while with the reader knowing it ends with me having a lifelong condition that will destroy these dreams and wondering how I am going to handle it.

3. After the international stories, some funny, some sad, with lots of lessons I learn from the Lord along the way, then the big wham comes, the health problems get worse, things get bad. This is the "climax" point of the book, the big crisis that will make the whole story go one way or the other.

4. From there is my person struggle with losing my identity, my having to rearrange my idea of who God is and how He can still be good when my dreams are dying.  You want to tell your story in a transparent way that readers can relate to.

5. After this is the climbing out of the hole and finding the sunshine again. My books on human trafficking, how they are reaching more people than I could have had I stayed overseas and done what felt significant to me.

6. Conclusion that makes my final point, bringing the whole story together under my theme, leaving the reader satisfied and hopefully changed for good.

Time to get writing!!! You can do this. In fact, I just got an e-mail last weekend by a woman who attended my seminar several months ago, and now her book is finished and on the market. I'm thrilled for her, and can't wait to read her story.  Let me know when yours is ready, too!

Any questions?

Related posts: Writing a Memoir People Will Actually Want to Read!

Writing Wednesdays: Writing A Memoir People Will Actually Want to Read!

           I started a memoir for two reasons. The first was my family history—or rather the lack of it. My grandfather was in World War II. My grandmother had to have a double wedding with her sister, even wearing identical dresses, because of difficult financial times. My grandparents went through the Great Depression. They lost their first baby. The served God, raised children, and gave us grandchildren a beautiful legacy.

            Only they never put it in any form we have to keep. I want to tell my own children their stories, only the stories died with them. I have hints of stories, but not enough facts to create a history from them.

            The second reason for my memoir was equally important. I had been having unusual, difficult health problems for over ten years. As I faced my second pregnancy under the category of high-risk, still with a confusing and undefined condition, I wanted our stories on paper for my own children and grandchildren to know and learn from—if I were not around to tell them myself.

            Life is fragile. And beautiful. And each of us has experiences worth recording.

            So if you are considering writing a memoir, here’s the question you need to start with:

Why do you want to write it?

1.      To share about family? (You don’t want to lose your own history?)

2.      To tell about an era or historical event? (You were in Vietnam and want the world to know what it was really like?)

3.      To become famous? (You know juicy secrets about a famous celebrity and this is your ticket to stardom?)

            Next, keeping in mind how you answered the above, there are different ways to approach writing a memoir:

1.      Chronological—in my personal opinion, this method is phenomenally boring. If I see “Chapter One: So-in-so was born on such-and-such a day in such-and-such a place,” I immediately want to close the book, or at least skip about three quarters in to the interesting part.

2.      Topical—this is when you tell your story from subject to subject. For example, all the love stories in one section, then the difficult stories, then the happy stories, etc. This can be interesting if, say, you are writing about the past four generations of your family, and reading about their similar experiences throughout different eras of history would be interesting.

3.      Random—like a blog, a random memoir goes along like a conversation, with you giving incidents as they come to mind. This works if you want your memoir to be casual, or if you have a lot of great stories within specific topics that might get too much if you keep them together.

4.      Event-based—these are best when memoirs are created from an important event people are interested in. When the author of “Let’s Roll” wrote a memoir about her husband, people were interested because he gave his life on September 11^th saving the lives of others.  In that book, the chapters bounced back and forth, starting with the event people were most interested in, then going to the person’s life story, back to the event, then back to the person’s life, until they combined in the culmination of the person’s story as well as the event.

5.      Historical or Era-based—this chronicles your journey through historical events or eras that resonate with the reader’s memories. Say you were actually there when sliced bread was invented, you planted a victory garden during WWII, or were at Woodstock, or JFK’s funeral. Your story, told through the eyes of history, pulls readers into the history with you.

            Regardless of how large or small your audience will be, you will want your memoir to be, well, memorable—and for good reasons, not bad ones! Therefore, you want it to be well-written, and presented in such a way that, like any other written piece, makes the reader want to read to the second sentence, to the second chapter, through to the end.

            You likely have a story worth telling. If so, it is worth the effort to turn it into a story worth reading!

            So once you decide what type of memoir you want, what next? Find out next week!
  

 This was published in Southern Writer's magazine earlier this year!