Pruning - Ouch

Yesterday, a bunch of guys came out with big equipment to prune our huge pecan trees in the backyard. They are glorious, their branches and leaves stretching far to twine fingers with each other. Those branches and leaves are their beauty, the visual representation of their strength, but they need to be tempered.

The farther out the branches go, the more branches and the more leaves spread, the more of the tree's sustenance goes out to the edges of those long branches, taking it away from the the main part of the tree, where sustenance is most needed.

Time to be pruned.

One of our backyard trees.

We are not different. The more we take on and get involved in, the more our strength has to go to the outer parts, those activities or secondary priorities or even ministries, while the core of who we are, our souls, do not get what we need.

A tree that is not pruned will eventually lose branches as they fall off, sometimes causing great damage. Or the tree dries up, not able to keep growing or thriving.

A person not pruned has stress, and eventually burnout.

I've always understood the pruning concept in the sense that I needed it sometimes, but yesterday I watched and saw something amazing. We, the tree owners, put the money into the pruning. The men we hired did the work. The tree's job? Just to endure. That tree had no part in the pruning except to let it happen. All of the work and decision making was done by those responsible for its care.

From our perspective as God's children, sometimes a pruning may feel like it's coming at a wrong time, or is unfair because the tree next door is allowed to keep growing. We feel less, we feel our identity has been taken, we feel God is punishing us or denying us happiness or doesn't want us to enjoy a feeling of fulfillment.

But God sees farther than we can from our position. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows when what we are doing, however glorious and yes, even God-honoring it may look, sometimes those very things are taking away from us getting our sustenance from God alone, and letting that sustenance go to what is needed in the core, rather than the branches.

If you find yourself being pruned, do not despair. There is purpose, and that purpose is good. It is to help you grow better. All you need to do is let God be in charge. Let Him prune you. Endure. All is well.

I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.  

Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;  

and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, 

that it may bear more fruit.   

Jesus, John 15:1-2

Sick Day with Chronic Health Problems

I came across this post from a couple of years ago, and it rang really true for me this week, so here it is again for anyone who, like me, needed the reminder. God bless your week!

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Days like today shake up my rhythm.  I don't like that.  I like spontaneity when I'm the one choosing to be spontaneous.  But I don't like the routine being thrown off.

I caught a cold last week.  For me, catching a cold can be a normal cold, or it can turn into something dangerous.  Problem is, I don't know which is which.

The space between "something's wrong" and "here's what to do" is frightening to me.  It's always a gamble, and I'm no good at gambling.  Sometimes I react too soon, and take measures that were unnecessary.  Sometimes I wait too long, and have to pay the consequences.

I don't like being responsible for choices that have so much at stake.  That's why I don't like the routine being thrown off.

For example, this cold.  If it's a normal cold, I'm not supposed to have to go up on my steroids.  Only if I have an infection or fever.  But then an unexpected symptom or two added to it.  Did that mean I had the flu?  Should I go up?

If I don't go up when my body needs to, I'm going to be in bad shape.  If I go up when I don't need to, I'm going through all the extra med issues and then the tapering for no reason.

So I went up a little, then a little more.  By Sunday we decided to do a stress dose.  That's a whopper dose--which we did in the hopes of wiping out the sickness so it wouldn't run on and compromise my immune system any more.

Now today, Monday, I have to decide what to do again.  Should I start going down, so the tapering wouldn't be so difficult?  Or will going down just flare up the sickness again and I'll be worse off than before?

No, I'm not a schizophrenic.  I'm a control freak.

Having a day-to-day disease is not easy for a control freak.  However, maybe the Lord knows it's just what I need, to learn to let go of my need to be in charge.  My body is not my kingdom.  It is God's; I'm just a steward of it for this lifetime.

Last night I was discouraged, feeling sick, and struggling with the fact of having this to deal with at all.  And I was thinking about brain surgery and the risks involved.

As I lay in bed, fearing the weight of so many choices with so many ramifications, God whispered to me that it wasn't my responsibility.  Yes, I'm responsible for the daily decisions, like whether to go up or down on meds.  Sometimes I choose rightly, sometimes not.  But my life and my body are God's.  God knows the number of my days.  He know which one will be my last.  And He's not going to let me mess up to the point of changing that.  I'm not that powerful.

What a relief.

Tomorrow, I'll wake up and have to go through all of this decision stuff again, and again the next day until I stabilize.  Then once I stabilize, I try to establish a nice routine that will be broken up next time I get sick or have a flare up.  And when that happens, I will struggle with my natural tendency to worry and fear . . . again.  

I'm not sure if I'll ever learn to let go of some of my control-freak fears for good.  But I'm letting go of them tonight.

That's a start.

What? know ye not that your body is 

the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, 

which ye have of God, 

and ye are not your own?

 For ye are bought with a price: 

therefore glorify God in your body, 

and in your spirit, which are God's.  

I Corinthians 6:19-20

Yesterday's Trip to the ER, and the No Good Thing

Doctors fix problems.
Medicine fixes problems.
Tests show which doctor or which medicine will fix the problem.
Right?
Yes.
Sometimes.
Maybe.
Sort of.
Not exactly.

The button doesn't work sometimes.

If you live with multiple chronic health problems like me (Addison's disease, asthma, hypoglycemia, scoliosis, and a cyst on the brain in case you wanted the list), you know that sometimes doctors shrug their shoulders at you, and medicine causes potentially fatal side effects, and tests send the diagnosis in the wrong direction.

For example: I've been having numbness and tingling in my feet, then hands, then lips, for a couple of weeks now. You'd think that I should go to the doctor and find out what is wrong and fix it. However...

1. I have multiple conditions and take multiple prescription meds. The above symptoms could be due to a possible 10 different things, or maybe something totally unconnected to the10 possibilities I thought of.

2. Depending on which doctor I visit, they have a different line of expertise or interest, so whichever is theirs is likely the direction they will test and treat. If I get the wrong one, I'm off in the wrong direction, possibly causing more harm than good.

3. If I decide it's a medication side effect, and start adjusting meds, again, I could cause more harm than good.

What to do? So many decisions. Finally, today, enough other symptoms were added to them that I went to Urgent Care, and then the ER. I just wanted somebody else to make the decisions for awhile. It didn't exactly work. Here's what happened...

It's been three years since I've had an asthma attack bad enough to go to a doctor for it. One of my asthma triggers is mold and this high humidity summer has been rough (literally) on my lungs. I went to Urgent Care and they gave me a nebulizer treatment (where you breathe in the medicine), and prescribed me a packet of prednisone (which if you've ever taken those, you know how fun they can be). Later I went to the ER because I wasn't any better. It takes a lot to get me to the ER, but not being able to breathe well will do it. They gave me 2 more nebulizer treatments (which made me shake so bad my teeth chattered), took blood (my veins don't like to give blood so it took some digging), did a chest x-ray because I mentioned having pneumonia once that led to surgery, and when all that didn't fix it, did an EKG just in case.

I got to use one of these, but it didn't have cute stickers on it. And no, that's not me. =)

I sat and waited and prayed, and then, as has happened so many, many times before, the doctor came in and told me the tests came back great, the bloodwork was fine.

What now? I asked questions, the doctor answered. I asked more questions, the doctor gave options for me to choose, basically something to try that might help, or might make things worse. I asked more questions, the doctor had to shrug.

Back to me making more choices because the doctor can't find what's wrong. This gets very old, needing to be in charge of my own mutinous body, needing to be the to one to decide if I should risk taking this mega antibiotic that could help me, or could put me back in the hospital with a dangerous reaction. Needing to decide if I should go to a specialist and which kind and where will the money come from and how guilty I'm going to feel if it doesn't fix anything.

Can you hear my mind moaning and my heart crying?

I did actually cry at the ER. Nebulizer treatments do that to me. As I sat there, shaking like a leaf in the wind, my head in my heads--I guess I was trying to hold my body together in case it shook itself loose--I asked my husband to read me Psalm 84. He read verses that comforted and helped, and then he got to one verse that I knew by heart, but today it whispered something special to me.

"No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly."

The ultimate responsibility does not fall on me. If I am walking with Jesus and living His way, I can leave the final result with Him. If the good thing is a clear test result, He will provide it. If He has reasons why the good thing is a vague result and no answers, then that is what will be provided. Even for those who walk with the Lord, but die, that was not judgement or failure on the part of some doctor, or on the part of the person. It was their good thing.

I fear making the wrong choice, following the wrong lead, taking the wrong medicine. God tells me not to fear. If I keep this verse in my heart, I will remember why. Seek His kingdom first, and let Him add what is needed. Walk with Him, cling to Him, and He will provide whatever is best. He already knows the number of my days. If I'm walking with Him, I'm not going to mess that up.

That is much peace to me tonight--I'm writing this at 11:45pm, after trying to sleep, trying to stop thinking about what I should do, trying to stop feeling badly. I will seek His direction. I might miss it and make the wrong choice. He can take care of that. If I delight in Him, all will be well, even when it's not. That sounds like a contradiction, but as God once said, "All things are possible to them that believe."

So I shall give my worries and fears and symptoms and pills and decisions to Him. And I myself shall snuggle into a ball in His large, comforting arms, and choose peace.

I hope you choose it today, too.

Related Posts: When It's Just Too Much

Urgent Care, Steroids, and Antibiotics-Here I Go Again

My New Year's Even Party, Another Exciting Trip to Urgent Care

God, Me, and Sweet Iced Tea--Interview with Guest Rose Johnson

A big welcome today to Rose Johnson, author of the brand new book, God, Me, and Sweet Iced Tea, a refreshing collection of light, encouraging devotionals. Let's find out more!

Click Here to read a sample!

Why a devotional, Rose?

In 1977, when I made the commitment to make Jesus the Lord of my life, I starting reading a devotional every morning.  It was just what I needed to help me focus and structure my time. I’ve incorporated devotional reading in my quiet times with God for decades. I think most people could benefit from that format. God, Me, and Sweet Iced Tea evolved from my own spiritual journal writing.

Did you plan to be a writer? What got you started?

Actually, I did plan to be a writer.  I wrote some for a women’s club magazine and had a few things published in the 80’s.

Tell us a little about your life before writing.

I’m from a small Georgia town.  At the age of 19 I married and moved away to California.  I journaled, wrote poetry and articles, and wrote some for a women’s club magazine when my children were babies.  I have six children, so I have been a busy mother for many years.  After I started teaching full-time, I put my writing aside.  In 2008, I started writing again.

What is something God has taught you about Himself recently?

God has taught me that He wants us to be still and quiet in our souls and spend time with Him and listen to Him.  He is available to me.  The questions is—am I available to Him? 

Do you think writing is a good way to heal from hurt?

I do.  Journaling is very therapeutic.  For that reason, God, Me, and Sweet Iced Tea is a devotional journal.

What are your hopes for this book?

I hope it will be a real source of hope and encouragement to readers.  I’d like for it to show them the reality of God in everyday life.  I want them to meet the Lord in its pages and grow closer to Him.   “And these things we write to you that your joy may be full.”  1 John 1:4

Who is it for?

I know I should have a “target” audience, but I think this devotional would appeal to most any Christian.  It’s particularly suited to working mothers.  Many of the meditations concern parenting and work place relationships.

Has God drawn you closer to Himself through writing this?

The longer I serve God the closer I become to Him.  Writing has helped me because it causes me to search deeper in God’s word.  Most of my meditations involve a lot of Scripture reading and spiritual reading

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Thanks, Rose, for joining us today! Readers, feel free to leave a comment to encourage Rose or ask a question.

Click here to get Rose's new book at Amazon in paperback or e-book: God, Me, and Sweet Iced Tea 

 

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A Message for Everyone Who Knows How to Fix Me

I don't know about you, but I've heard the following...
"You need to look in the mirror every day and say that you're healthy. If you say you'll never get better, then you never will."
"Do you believe God wants people to be sick? Sickness is all from the Devil, and if you resist the sickness, it will have to flee."
"It's curses. People can put curses on you without you knowing it."

Do this! No, this! No, this!

It is interesting to me how the phrases, "If you just had more faith/claimed this verse/prayed more, etc...." sound so very similar to other phrases like, "If you just tried this vitamin/herbal treatment/exercise program, etc..." All are made by people fairly certain they have the solution to my problem. Sometimes I hear things like this before the person has even bothered to ask what my illness is!

Usually I try to smile, try not to grit my teeth, and ask God for help because my spirit is not gentle when I hear the above--and if you've never thought about it, the underlying message to all of them is that this is somehow my fault. If I would just do something different, or stop doing something I am doing, everything would be better.

I think people like to think this way because, if they can decide this has happened to me because I am doing something or not doing something that they have already mastered, then there's no chance anything like this can happen to them. Other people genuinely do want to help, but, like Job's friends, they aren't thinking much about how it comes across or what is needed most (more on that Monday).

Therefore, rather than gritting my teeth, here is my official response to a few of the things we chronically ill people hear (whether directly or indirectly):

You're Exaggerating Your Symptoms to Get Attention/Excuse Laziness/Get What You Want/Etc.

I do not like being sick. I am disgusted at the idea of milking my illness for attention or using it as an excuse to be lazy or whiney, depressed or irritable. There are times when I am whiney or irritable, but as with everyone else who belongs to God, I am to see those things as sin and repent of them, rather than blame them on my circumstances and thus give them free reign.

Don't You Believe God Can Heal You?

Yes. Definitely. God could heal me. At this exact moment He could make my adrenal glands come to life and work again. He could fix my low blood sugar, remove the sensitivity from my lungs, straighten my spine and deflate the cyst in my head.

It's not a matter of me not believing He can. And it's not a matter of not asking. However, over the years as I, like Jacob, have wrestled with this illusive, sometimes painful thing called God's will, I have come to accept that perhaps me being sick is God's plan for me. I wrestle with the God of the universe, and like Jacob, God touches my body with frailty and pain, an everyday reminder that I am human and He is not. That I do not know what is best.

But isn't it true that some people are sick because of sin or lack of faith?

The Bible talks about people being sick or "sleeping"-dying because of sin. There are definitely times when people are sick as a result of sin and unbelief, yes. Are there people who need to have more faith? Yes. Are there people even who use their sickness as an excuse to sin? Certainly--just like there are people who use other circumstances (a lost job, difficult childhood, bad marriage) as an excuse to complain, judge, or get angry.

However, deciding if that is the case is not within our jurisdiction of authority. God says, "Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls" (Romans 14:4).

But the Bible says by their fruits we shall know them. Can't we judge if we see they don't have faith?

If the book of Job is any indication, no. If you do, do so knowing that the Bible very clearly states that the measure you use to judge others will be the measure used on you. If you judge by what you see, not knowing all the facts, you will be judged the same (Matthew 7:2).


God wants His children happy and well. If you aren't well, it can't be from God. It must be your fault.
Through the many times of darkness and pain, I have come to see a few things more clearly about this life of mine. When I was well, I could achieve my own driven goals and big plans. I could do amazing things for God.

Now, broken and limited, captive to a body that does not do my bidding sometimes, I have had to leave behind many of those plans and dreams and goals. They litter the trail of my adult life, like furniture and mementos and baby dolls littered the wagon trails of old, abandoned not because they were not wanted, but because survival trumped desire.

There are days I cling to God as if my life depends upon it (and it always does; it's just more obvious on those days). I am deeply aware I cannot make it through the day unless He carries me.

Dear friend, that is not a bad thing. Those days I feel good, competent, able, I tend to forget how desperately I need God. How He is the source of everything good, not me (James 1:17). This is why, as Paul did, I have come to glory in my infirmities (2 Corinthians 12:9). I don't want them. I'd much rather God remove them. But God has said no. I've asked Him many, many more times than Paul did (see 2 Corinthians 12:8), but His answer to me has been the same as His answer to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

There are days I don't "most gladly" (2 Cor. 12:9) glory in my infirmities, but I do recognize with humility that when I was well I did not honor the Lord as well as I honored myself. It is humiliating to say so, to feel the limp like Jacob and know that I need to be limited to best glorify God.

However, if that is what it takes, I accept it. If I can glorify God better through illness, I choose illness.

In conclusion, for anyone who thinks Illness Always Represents a Lack of Faith, I have 3 things to say:
1. Be careful you do not put your faith in your faith. One day, you will be faced with a trial that does not go away. Will you trust God's will, or turn from Him because He did not do what you asked?

2. Be careful you do not assume to know the mind of the Lord. He is not a genie to command according to our wishes, and if the Bible is any indication, He often does things that baffle and confuse His children, for reasons those children may not understand their entire lives.

3. Please do not judge. Job's friends were certain Job suffered due to sin. They said so over and over again. God Himself reprimanded them. God had a very important reason for Job's sufferings. His friends could have helped him endure; instead they added to his pain.

Whew. My brain is worn out. =) I hope I communicated this gently and with respect. Instead of posting tomorrow, I'm going to wait till Monday to talk more about Job's friends and what not to do when a friend is suffering.

Add your thoughts below!

Related Posts: Not Enough Faith? Is it My Fault I'm Still Sick?

If Jesus sets the Captives Free, Why won't He Deliver Me?

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Next Week's Post: Job's Friends--A Lesson in What Not To Do

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If Jesus Delivers the Captives, Why Won't He Deliver Me?

I'm reading a book titled, The Sacred Echo. Margaret Feinberg, the author, pointed out something I'd never noticed before. Something really big for those of us who suffer. So big, it's the reason I sat in my recliner and cried and wrote three of the blog posts for this week.

Have you ever noticed how Jesus tended not to answer questions directly? Sometimes He seemed not to answer them at all, talking about something that sounded like a rabbit trail, or telling some story that at first seemed random.

One such time was when John the Baptist was in prison and sent an important, penetrating question to Jesus. John had seen Jesus glorified, had even heard God speak from Heaven, declaring who Jesus was and that He was pleased with Him. If anybody knew Jesus was the Messiah, it was John. Yet after being imprisoned for doing right, suffering and facing more suffering, he starts to wonder. Why hasn't Jesus declared His kingdom? Why hasn't he freed His people from oppression?



If Jesus is who He says He is, why is John still in prison?

John sent Jesus a pointed question, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?" (Matthew 11:3)

Believers throughout the ages have asked similar questions. I have. Have you ever wanted to ask:

Where are You, God?

Why haven't You come through for us?

Why are you letting me/them suffer like this?

If You cared about us, You'd change things/heal her/not let them die.

If you are God, You can stop this, so why don't You?

What's the point of having faith if You aren't going to help us?

If you've ever felt guilty for thinking or praying the above, know that God hears such prayers. If fact, God listed all of them in the Bible. Read through the book of Psalms and you'll find even the last one (Psalm 73:12-14).

Jesus did not get angry at John. He did not berate his lack of faith. His response was gentle, yet powerful. Today I learned it was even more powerful--for him and for me--than I knew.

Jesus said:

“Go and tell John the things which you hear and see:  

The blind see and the lame walk; 

the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; 

the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them.  

And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me” (Matthew 11:4-6).

Margaret Feinberg explains: "Jesus' response refers to prophecies found in the book of Isaiah, six specific signs the Messiah will fulfill when he comes....What captures my attention in Jesus' response is not the six prophecies he fulfilled, but the seventh prophecy he seemingly goes out of his way not to mention: to proclaim freedom for the captives."

Within John's question was a deeper, much more personal cry. "Are You the Messiah? Will You deliver me?" Those two may seem to be the same question. Those who live with suffering know they are not. At least not in the way we want them to be.

Jesus' answer was clear. Yes, I am the Messiah. No, I will not deliver you. Not from prison or even from death. (John was soon after beheaded at the request of a vengeful woman.)

Did that mean Jesus was really not the Messiah? Or that He did not fulfill the prophecy, do what He said He would do?

The question closer to home:
If we are still sick, is God not Who He says He is? Is He not keeping His promises?
Is He not good?

This is very important. In the Garden, the very first sin happened because Eve believed the lie that God was not good and did not want what was truly best for her. That He couldn't be trusted.

If we also believe that lie, our suffering is in vain.

Let's look at these questions in regard to John the Baptist. Was God punishing John for lack of faith? No. Jesus said John was the greatest man ever born to a woman (Matthew 11:11). If it wasn't God's punishment, then that must mean God did not keep His promise, right?

No, these are not the only two options.

Jesus sets the captives free. John was delivered. Not from prison to a more comfortable life. He was delivered not from death but through death, to perfect freedom and life eternal.

We forget that part. We see here and now, and here and now are so very important to us. God sees forever. He knows every promise has a beautiful fulfillment.

I am sick now, but I will be healed. I know it with all my soul. It may not happen in this lifetime. But one day I will have a perfect body and perfect spirit, delivered from my failing flesh and my fragile mind and my sin-tempted soul forever.



The promises have not failed. They simply have not all been fulfilled yet. And sometimes they get fulfilled in ways we would never expect, like deliverance for John.

We will be healed. God can be trusted. As Jesus told John, "Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me” (Matthew 11:6).

Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

....Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,

Psalm 103:1-3 

Related Posts: Not Enough Faith? Is it My Fault I'm Still Sick?


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Tomorrow's Post: A Message for Everyone Who has tried to Fix Me

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Not Enough Faith? Is It My Fault I'm Still Sick?

Hebrews 11 is a marvelous chapter known to many as the Hall of Faith. The first half of the chapter lists great heroes of the Old Testament. Then verses 33-35a are enough to make you cheer; subduing kingdoms, obtaining promises, stopping lions and escaping fire and sword. Victory in battle, and even having the dead brought back to life again.

How did all this happen? "Through faith," says verse 33. The faith that moves mountains.

That faith has not been extinguished over time. Believers still see God do mighty things. Cancer disappears. Alcoholics get deliverance. Battles are won.

What about us? We who are sick, and have been sick for years? We who have prayed and asked and hoped for healing, but not received it?

Many would say our chronic illness or disease is representative of our lack of faith. That we failed in our battle. We lost. If we could only believe more, condemn the sickness, declare ourselves healthy, we would be free. (I've heard those; you likely have too.)

Those people did not heed the rest of the chapter on faith. Look on, starting right after those believers who had the ultimate visual victory--the dead coming to life again--as a representation of their faith:

...and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance...

they were stoned, they were sawn asunder, 

were tempted, were slain with the sword...

destitute, afflicted, tormented... (Heb. 11:35b-37)

Wait a minute. How can words like afflicted and tormented be in a chapter celebrating faith? Many would say those people didn't have enough faith. If they had, they would have been delivered to live a comfortable and healthy and victorious life, right?

Not according to God. Read on. The chapter ends this way:

And these all, having obtained a good report through faith... (vs 39)

Sometimes faith results in healing or victory, in what looks to us humans like what faith should look like. As Jesus said, If you have enough faith, you can tell a mountain to move and it will (Matthew 17:20). That a pretty obvious way to show your faith.

Does that mean that people whose mountains move are closer to God, and people who have mountains still in their backyard aren't?

Not necessarily.

I could list many examples in Scripture, but let's go straight to our ultimate example of perfect faith and oneness with God--Jesus Christ.

First, Jesus never told a mountain to move so we could "see" His faith. In fact, He rejected the suggestion every time His disciples, skeptics, or even Satan suggested He do an obvious sign to prove Himself to the world. We should take that to heart. Faith shouldn't be about the show.

Second, Jesus prayed a prayer that God said "no" to. Jesus even asked God "why?" Both were during the time of His greatest suffering. Both were during a time when religious people questioned His faith (the faith of the Messiah Himself!) and mocked His lack of "ability" to get off the cross. Both were also on the path to the greatest glory and victory history has ever witnessed.

At one point, Jesus said He could have made the problem go away. He could have instantly summoned legions of angels to deliver Him (Matthew 26:53). Take away His pain. Give Him health and wealth.

Instead, He let the mountain remain. He asked God, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). 

For some of us, God wants the mountain to remain. Moving it might impress people and make them feel like we have faith, but sometimes it takes more faith to let God be glorified through our suffering rather than being delivered from it.

As in Hebrews, sometimes God is glorified by delivering His children from the trial. Other time, He is glorified by not delivering them.

I live right at the base of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Those beautiful peeks have been there for millennia, despite the fact that this the Bible Belt and there are many people with great faith here. Why do they remain? Is it because no one has had enough faith to move them? Or because God wants them there? They glorify Him to the world. When I see them, I am filled with awe, given peace, reminded by lifting up my eyes to hills that my help comes from God (Psalm 121).

For some reason, God has chosen not to move my mountain of chronic illness. He has moved many others in my life--I have seen Him do amazing things--but this one He has allowed to remain.

If I love Him, if I care more about His glory than my own comfort (or with convincing people like Job's friends, which is usually a waste of verbiage), then I will pray like Jesus. I can ask God to move the mountain--remove the suffering--but end that what I want most is for His will to be done, not mine.

Sometimes it take more faith to not get what you want....but more on that tomorrow.

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Tomorrow's Post: If Jesus Delivers the Captives, Why Won't He Deliver Me?

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Joni Earekson Tada Video Visit--Don't Waste Your Suffering

When Joni Earekson Tada was a teenager, she dived into a lake and broke her neck. She has spent the last 40+ years in a wheelchair. She recently battled through breast cancer, a masectomy and chemo, and now that she is in her 60s, she lives with chronic pain.

I read Joni's story as a teen myself and it impacted me greatly. I think of her sometimes when I feel like my cross is too heavy to bear, too unfair, and wonder how someone like her, who cannot even brush her own teeth or go to the bathroom by herself, not only accepts her limitations, but lives with them with grace and joy.

Joni's ministry gave me permission to post this video interview with Joni. You may not have an hour to listen to the entire thing, so...

If you are a teen, I'd recommend starting at minute 9.

If you live with chronic illness, the most important section would be minutes 19-35.

Joni talks about the days she isn't strong enough:

“I just don’t know how I’m going to make it to lunchtime…Oh God, I am so tired of this.”

“I so wanted to cry, but there was nobody around to wipe my nose…God, if I can’t die, You’ve just got to show me how to live.”

She brings our focus back to what matters:

“The cross I take up daily is not my wheelchair…it’s my attitude about my wheelchair. This is what I have to put to death.”

And she ends with hope.

“Wake up tomorrow needing Him desperately and you can’t go wrong.”

“I don’t want to waste my suffering.”

Please take some time and watch at least a portion of this video. I was inspired and encouraged, and think you will be, too.

This is an important week. Instead of my usual weekly post, this week I will be posting tomorrow through Friday on a topic those of us with illness face regularly: Is My Illness because I don't have enough Faith? I have been told such more than once, and you likely have to. When I struggle, sometimes this is the painful lie that comes back to haunt me. That's why it's important to know the truth, because the truth sets us free.

So come back tomorrow for "Not Enough Faith? Is It My Fault I'm Still Sick?"

Subscribe to make sure you don't miss it!

Kermit Gosnell, Abortion, and Human Trafficking

I write and speak and research on human trafficking. A lot. But one thing I have to avoid is the trafficking of young children. I can tell people that 300 children are sold in Atlanta every month, but I cannot bear to study what happens to so many of those children. It is unspeakable.

Many define human trafficking as the buying and selling of people--of bodies--yet it encompasses much more than that. International Consultant Lauran Bethall, in Nefarius, defines it as "the exploitation of vulnerability."

Do Kermit Gosnell's actions not fill that definition to the brim?. His story is sickening because he harmed children too small to defend themselves, too helpless to speak up for their rights. In my opinion, this is human trafficking at its worst--one person benefiting from the exploitation and destruction of those too helpless to fight back.

When I was 12 weeks pregnant, I had my first ultrasound in a little hospital via-5-seater-airplane in Indonesia. My tiny baby son, enjoying the orange juice I'd had awhile earlier, twirled and kicked and flipped, to the delight of everyone in the room. It was one of the most precious things I'd ever seen.

No one on the planet could have convinced me that my baby was "just" a fetus, and I could destroy his life at will without guilt.

My second child was born 6 1/2 weeks early. The moment she was born, had someone taken scissors and cut her spine, it would have been murder. However, had someone done the same exact thing thirty minutes before she exited my body, it would be called late-term abortion.

You may not agree with me, but I consider abortion to be the worst kind of human trafficking.

If you have had an abortion, I do not condemn you. You have suffered, and Jesus holds out forgiveness, freedom, and peace to you. As one commentor said:
"Those who are in favor of abortion like to call themselves 'pro-choice'  But this is not accurate at all.  The women I know who had abortions did not have them because they believed abortion to be a good choice.  They had abortions because a lack of financial, medical, or psychological support made them feel as if they had NO choice.  Tragically, they now realize the so-called 'choice' they made will haunt them for the rest of their lives."  Why I Didn't Write About Gosnell's Trial

Were it in my right to condemn, I would point toward those who not only do these things, but teach others that it is right. Those who, like Gosnell, actually break babies in pieces and throw them in the trash (whether out of the womb or inside--logically, what is the difference?), and those who, by their silence, give their approval. 14 Theories for Why Kermit Gosnell's Case Didn't Get More Attention

The media ignored Gosnell's story completely, until finally the American public gave such an outcry that their silence became embarrassingly obvious. Media Acknowledge Blowing Gosnell Story

Edmund Burke once said, "All it takes for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." He also said there comes a time when forbearance ceases to be a virtue.

I have an even better quote from a higher authority. For anyone who does not think it matters:
Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. Matthew 18:10

For anyone who thinks it's not your problem:
Open your mouth for the speechless,in the cause of all who are appointed to die.Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31:8-9

As Ann Vonskamp said, For Christ followers, it’s more than being pro-choice and pro-life — it’s about always being pro-the-least-of-these. What Gosenell and the Gospel mean for the Brave

When someone charges into a school and shoots kindergarten children, the world is outraged and horrified. However, if every single one of those exact same children had been killed before birth, they would just be a few more in the 1 million children silenced each year in our nation. Those broken and discarded each year at 12 weeks, when I had my ultrasound: over 110,000. Those killed at 21+ weeks, up to and past the time when my precious little girl was born: over 18,000 a year.

You may disagree that abortion is human trafficking. That's fine. But can you see how the one perspective feeds the other? If it is okay to decide that certain life can be destroyed without guilt, is it not also okay to decide certain people can be abused without guilt?

If a puppy was cut into pieces and thrown in the trash, it would be "inhumane."

If an eagle still inside it's egg is harmed, it is a federal crime.

If it happens to a baby outside the womb, it is murder.

If it happens to a baby inside the womb, it's funded by the government, promoted by a company with "parenthood" in its title, and shoved down our cultural throats by the media.

In my opinion, Grosnell is a human trafficker. He will answer to God for what he has done.

We also will answer to God for what we do, or don't do, in the face of a nation that says killing babies is okay as long as they are tucked safely inside a woman's body and we cannot watch them die or hear them scream.

Does it take a trial like Gosnell's to make it clear, or are we just choosing to look the other way?

For I, the LORD, love justice. Isaiah 61:8

And they have built the high places...to burn their sons and their daughters in the fire; which I commanded them not, neither came it into my heart.Therefore, behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that it shall no more be called Tophet...but the valley of slaughter: 

for they shall bury in Tophet, till there be no place. Jeremiah 7:31-32

Statistics from: Q&A about Abortion

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