Pruning - Ouch

Yesterday, a bunch of guys came out with big equipment to prune our huge pecan trees in the backyard. They are glorious, their branches and leaves stretching far to twine fingers with each other. Those branches and leaves are their beauty, the visual representation of their strength, but they need to be tempered.

The farther out the branches go, the more branches and the more leaves spread, the more of the tree's sustenance goes out to the edges of those long branches, taking it away from the the main part of the tree, where sustenance is most needed.

Time to be pruned.

One of our backyard trees.

We are not different. The more we take on and get involved in, the more our strength has to go to the outer parts, those activities or secondary priorities or even ministries, while the core of who we are, our souls, do not get what we need.

A tree that is not pruned will eventually lose branches as they fall off, sometimes causing great damage. Or the tree dries up, not able to keep growing or thriving.

A person not pruned has stress, and eventually burnout.

I've always understood the pruning concept in the sense that I needed it sometimes, but yesterday I watched and saw something amazing. We, the tree owners, put the money into the pruning. The men we hired did the work. The tree's job? Just to endure. That tree had no part in the pruning except to let it happen. All of the work and decision making was done by those responsible for its care.

From our perspective as God's children, sometimes a pruning may feel like it's coming at a wrong time, or is unfair because the tree next door is allowed to keep growing. We feel less, we feel our identity has been taken, we feel God is punishing us or denying us happiness or doesn't want us to enjoy a feeling of fulfillment.

But God sees farther than we can from our position. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows when what we are doing, however glorious and yes, even God-honoring it may look, sometimes those very things are taking away from us getting our sustenance from God alone, and letting that sustenance go to what is needed in the core, rather than the branches.

If you find yourself being pruned, do not despair. There is purpose, and that purpose is good. It is to help you grow better. All you need to do is let God be in charge. Let Him prune you. Endure. All is well.

I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.  

Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;  

and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, 

that it may bear more fruit.   

Jesus, John 15:1-2

Trafficking, 12-year-olds, and Willow Smith's new Music Video

I have spoken on human trafficking in churches and school, libraries and conference rooms, to groups of hundreds and groups of less than a dozen. I have researched and studied trafficking, and discovered things I have shared with many others. I have also discovered things so horrible I will never tell you.

Tonight, I came across Willow Smith's new music video about having a summer fling, and I'm so disturbed I can't not write about it. Not the video itself, or the music, but how it collides with something else--a statistic.

Willow Smith is twelve years old.

The average age for an American girl to get trafficked is 12-14.

Before you think I've gone off the deep end, let me share with you what was disturbing to me about the video, and then please take the time to let me say why.

What disturbed me about what I heard in the song:
1. She's taking walks at midnight and lying on the beach with a guy she barely knows.
2. She's calling him, he's calling her, hanging out, kissing.
3. She mentions many times, "It's just a couple months, but we do it anyway."
4. She talks about them saying, "I love you," when the whole song is about it being just a summer fling.
5. "You say that I'm the one. I say it's just for fun."

What disturbed me about what I saw in the video:
1. A twelve-year-old flirting, touching, being touched, by a guy she barely knows.
2. The guy being nowhere near twelve years old.
3. Lots of couples touching, including what I think was a lesbian couple (with colored hair and lots of tattoos--maybe to show her sense of diversity?)
4. Absolutely no adults anywhere.




Now, before you think I'm saying Willow Smith has anything to do with trafficking, I'll say now I seriously doubt she has any idea her music video and song present a recipe traffickers love.

And that's my point.

Back to the statistic that the average age for a girl to get trafficked is 12-14. Why do you think that is?

I don't think 12-14-year-olds are targeted because girls are most desirable at that age. Trafficking is exploiting vulnerability, and younger girls are more vulnerable to exploitation. They are ripe for targeting. They are easier to lie to, entice, and ultimately take into a world so destructive, the life expectancy is a mere five years.

Here's what I'm talking about. Willow Smith's video shows girls that having an older guy pay attention to them is cool and makes them cool. Having him call them, pursue them, and touch them, despite not knowing them for very long, and having no intention of building a genuine lasting relationship, is cool. As she sings over and over (and over--52 times that I counted), "...do it anyway."

Traffickers know this is a very effective seduction to young girls. A trafficker isn't necessarily an old, ugly guy who looks like the bad guy. Sometimes they are young, well-dressed, and very attractive. These traffickers know that a young girl feels special when an older guy notices her, pays attention to her, gives her things. So a trafficker targets a girl who is vulnerable (say, one who is looking for approval, shows off her body to get attention, has no adult keeping track of her schedule or activities, or is considering running away). He finds out what she longs for and provides it. He becomes what she needs, until she not only trusts him, but feels loved by him. As one very effective trafficker said with a smile, "I sell dreams."

Willow Smith's video scares me. Not just for her (Why would her parents let her be out at midnight with some guy they don't even know, much less make a song and video about it?), but for all the 12 and 10 and 8-year-old girls who are going to watch it, memorize the song, and wish they could be like her.

(FYI: If you think I'm going for shock factor here, trying to convince you of something, I'd like to let you know that what I'm saying is just surface information. This doesn't even touch the shock value aspects of this.)

So what should parents do? If you have a young girl, help her choose her influences wisely. Use things like this music video to start conversations about things that really matter. This short video could spark questions like:
1. Do you think a girl that young should have a boyfriend? Why or why not?
2. Do you think having a relationship with someone you don't really know is good? Can you think of how it could be bad or dangerous?
3. Why do you think I don't let you _______________?
4. What should you do if a guy you like starts to _____________________?
5. Do you know where the line is between touching that is okay and touching that is not?
6. If someone crosses that line, do you know that it's okay to do whatever you have to do to get away from him? What are some things you could do?

As much as I wish it were not true, 12-year-old girls need to know what is the boundary between acceptable and unacceptable touch. They need to be trained on how to get out of a dangerous situation. And they need to know that if something bad happens to them, that you are never going to blame them for it, but you will help them. They need to know to never keep something like that a secret, and they need to know if they came to you and told you something like that, that you would not brush it off or let it fall into silence.

They also need to know the lines exploiters use, such as:
1. If you love me, you'll ___________.
2. You owe me.
3. It's your fault because of what you wore/said/did.
4. You're bad. You shouldn't tell because everyone will know you did something bad.
5. If you tell, I'll _______________________.
6. I couldn't help it. I'll never do it again.

I hate the idea of even talking about this with my daughter when she gets older. Before I started studying trafficking, I thought age 16 would be a good age to bring it up. Maybe 15. I never imagined I'd have to be ready to discuss this at age 10or 11.

But unfortunately, that's one of the reasons 12-14 year olds are so exploitable. Their lack of knowledge and lack of training makes them vulnerable. Add to that a culture that says being pursued by an older guy when you're a pre-teen makes you special, and you have a truly dangerous situation.

Perhaps this music video will show parents that they should be more involved in what their children watch and listen to. Perhaps it will convince us to talk with our children and prepare them for this world. Perhaps it will even spark the desire to give them an understanding of their own value, so much so that they don't need to get their sense of worth from a summer fling, an older guy, or even a famous music career.

If that happens, then maybe watching the video wasn't a bad thing after all.

What do you think this video tells young girls? Do you think the controversy over this video is warranted?

Related Posts:   Nancy Drew Isn't Real and the Traffickers aren't that Stupid

Pretty Woman and the Media's Galmourization of Prostitution

Beyonce's Halftime Show and Human Trafficking

A Message for Everyone Who Knows How to Fix Me

I don't know about you, but I've heard the following...
"You need to look in the mirror every day and say that you're healthy. If you say you'll never get better, then you never will."
"Do you believe God wants people to be sick? Sickness is all from the Devil, and if you resist the sickness, it will have to flee."
"It's curses. People can put curses on you without you knowing it."

Do this! No, this! No, this!

It is interesting to me how the phrases, "If you just had more faith/claimed this verse/prayed more, etc...." sound so very similar to other phrases like, "If you just tried this vitamin/herbal treatment/exercise program, etc..." All are made by people fairly certain they have the solution to my problem. Sometimes I hear things like this before the person has even bothered to ask what my illness is!

Usually I try to smile, try not to grit my teeth, and ask God for help because my spirit is not gentle when I hear the above--and if you've never thought about it, the underlying message to all of them is that this is somehow my fault. If I would just do something different, or stop doing something I am doing, everything would be better.

I think people like to think this way because, if they can decide this has happened to me because I am doing something or not doing something that they have already mastered, then there's no chance anything like this can happen to them. Other people genuinely do want to help, but, like Job's friends, they aren't thinking much about how it comes across or what is needed most (more on that Monday).

Therefore, rather than gritting my teeth, here is my official response to a few of the things we chronically ill people hear (whether directly or indirectly):

You're Exaggerating Your Symptoms to Get Attention/Excuse Laziness/Get What You Want/Etc.

I do not like being sick. I am disgusted at the idea of milking my illness for attention or using it as an excuse to be lazy or whiney, depressed or irritable. There are times when I am whiney or irritable, but as with everyone else who belongs to God, I am to see those things as sin and repent of them, rather than blame them on my circumstances and thus give them free reign.

Don't You Believe God Can Heal You?

Yes. Definitely. God could heal me. At this exact moment He could make my adrenal glands come to life and work again. He could fix my low blood sugar, remove the sensitivity from my lungs, straighten my spine and deflate the cyst in my head.

It's not a matter of me not believing He can. And it's not a matter of not asking. However, over the years as I, like Jacob, have wrestled with this illusive, sometimes painful thing called God's will, I have come to accept that perhaps me being sick is God's plan for me. I wrestle with the God of the universe, and like Jacob, God touches my body with frailty and pain, an everyday reminder that I am human and He is not. That I do not know what is best.

But isn't it true that some people are sick because of sin or lack of faith?

The Bible talks about people being sick or "sleeping"-dying because of sin. There are definitely times when people are sick as a result of sin and unbelief, yes. Are there people who need to have more faith? Yes. Are there people even who use their sickness as an excuse to sin? Certainly--just like there are people who use other circumstances (a lost job, difficult childhood, bad marriage) as an excuse to complain, judge, or get angry.

However, deciding if that is the case is not within our jurisdiction of authority. God says, "Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls" (Romans 14:4).

But the Bible says by their fruits we shall know them. Can't we judge if we see they don't have faith?

If the book of Job is any indication, no. If you do, do so knowing that the Bible very clearly states that the measure you use to judge others will be the measure used on you. If you judge by what you see, not knowing all the facts, you will be judged the same (Matthew 7:2).


God wants His children happy and well. If you aren't well, it can't be from God. It must be your fault.
Through the many times of darkness and pain, I have come to see a few things more clearly about this life of mine. When I was well, I could achieve my own driven goals and big plans. I could do amazing things for God.

Now, broken and limited, captive to a body that does not do my bidding sometimes, I have had to leave behind many of those plans and dreams and goals. They litter the trail of my adult life, like furniture and mementos and baby dolls littered the wagon trails of old, abandoned not because they were not wanted, but because survival trumped desire.

There are days I cling to God as if my life depends upon it (and it always does; it's just more obvious on those days). I am deeply aware I cannot make it through the day unless He carries me.

Dear friend, that is not a bad thing. Those days I feel good, competent, able, I tend to forget how desperately I need God. How He is the source of everything good, not me (James 1:17). This is why, as Paul did, I have come to glory in my infirmities (2 Corinthians 12:9). I don't want them. I'd much rather God remove them. But God has said no. I've asked Him many, many more times than Paul did (see 2 Corinthians 12:8), but His answer to me has been the same as His answer to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

There are days I don't "most gladly" (2 Cor. 12:9) glory in my infirmities, but I do recognize with humility that when I was well I did not honor the Lord as well as I honored myself. It is humiliating to say so, to feel the limp like Jacob and know that I need to be limited to best glorify God.

However, if that is what it takes, I accept it. If I can glorify God better through illness, I choose illness.

In conclusion, for anyone who thinks Illness Always Represents a Lack of Faith, I have 3 things to say:
1. Be careful you do not put your faith in your faith. One day, you will be faced with a trial that does not go away. Will you trust God's will, or turn from Him because He did not do what you asked?

2. Be careful you do not assume to know the mind of the Lord. He is not a genie to command according to our wishes, and if the Bible is any indication, He often does things that baffle and confuse His children, for reasons those children may not understand their entire lives.

3. Please do not judge. Job's friends were certain Job suffered due to sin. They said so over and over again. God Himself reprimanded them. God had a very important reason for Job's sufferings. His friends could have helped him endure; instead they added to his pain.

Whew. My brain is worn out. =) I hope I communicated this gently and with respect. Instead of posting tomorrow, I'm going to wait till Monday to talk more about Job's friends and what not to do when a friend is suffering.

Add your thoughts below!

Related Posts: Not Enough Faith? Is it My Fault I'm Still Sick?

If Jesus sets the Captives Free, Why won't He Deliver Me?

Joni Earekson Tada Video Visit--Don't Waste Your Suffering


Next Week's Post: Job's Friends--A Lesson in What Not To Do

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If Jesus Delivers the Captives, Why Won't He Deliver Me?

I'm reading a book titled, The Sacred Echo. Margaret Feinberg, the author, pointed out something I'd never noticed before. Something really big for those of us who suffer. So big, it's the reason I sat in my recliner and cried and wrote three of the blog posts for this week.

Have you ever noticed how Jesus tended not to answer questions directly? Sometimes He seemed not to answer them at all, talking about something that sounded like a rabbit trail, or telling some story that at first seemed random.

One such time was when John the Baptist was in prison and sent an important, penetrating question to Jesus. John had seen Jesus glorified, had even heard God speak from Heaven, declaring who Jesus was and that He was pleased with Him. If anybody knew Jesus was the Messiah, it was John. Yet after being imprisoned for doing right, suffering and facing more suffering, he starts to wonder. Why hasn't Jesus declared His kingdom? Why hasn't he freed His people from oppression?



If Jesus is who He says He is, why is John still in prison?

John sent Jesus a pointed question, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?" (Matthew 11:3)

Believers throughout the ages have asked similar questions. I have. Have you ever wanted to ask:

Where are You, God?

Why haven't You come through for us?

Why are you letting me/them suffer like this?

If You cared about us, You'd change things/heal her/not let them die.

If you are God, You can stop this, so why don't You?

What's the point of having faith if You aren't going to help us?

If you've ever felt guilty for thinking or praying the above, know that God hears such prayers. If fact, God listed all of them in the Bible. Read through the book of Psalms and you'll find even the last one (Psalm 73:12-14).

Jesus did not get angry at John. He did not berate his lack of faith. His response was gentle, yet powerful. Today I learned it was even more powerful--for him and for me--than I knew.

Jesus said:

“Go and tell John the things which you hear and see:  

The blind see and the lame walk; 

the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; 

the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them.  

And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me” (Matthew 11:4-6).

Margaret Feinberg explains: "Jesus' response refers to prophecies found in the book of Isaiah, six specific signs the Messiah will fulfill when he comes....What captures my attention in Jesus' response is not the six prophecies he fulfilled, but the seventh prophecy he seemingly goes out of his way not to mention: to proclaim freedom for the captives."

Within John's question was a deeper, much more personal cry. "Are You the Messiah? Will You deliver me?" Those two may seem to be the same question. Those who live with suffering know they are not. At least not in the way we want them to be.

Jesus' answer was clear. Yes, I am the Messiah. No, I will not deliver you. Not from prison or even from death. (John was soon after beheaded at the request of a vengeful woman.)

Did that mean Jesus was really not the Messiah? Or that He did not fulfill the prophecy, do what He said He would do?

The question closer to home:
If we are still sick, is God not Who He says He is? Is He not keeping His promises?
Is He not good?

This is very important. In the Garden, the very first sin happened because Eve believed the lie that God was not good and did not want what was truly best for her. That He couldn't be trusted.

If we also believe that lie, our suffering is in vain.

Let's look at these questions in regard to John the Baptist. Was God punishing John for lack of faith? No. Jesus said John was the greatest man ever born to a woman (Matthew 11:11). If it wasn't God's punishment, then that must mean God did not keep His promise, right?

No, these are not the only two options.

Jesus sets the captives free. John was delivered. Not from prison to a more comfortable life. He was delivered not from death but through death, to perfect freedom and life eternal.

We forget that part. We see here and now, and here and now are so very important to us. God sees forever. He knows every promise has a beautiful fulfillment.

I am sick now, but I will be healed. I know it with all my soul. It may not happen in this lifetime. But one day I will have a perfect body and perfect spirit, delivered from my failing flesh and my fragile mind and my sin-tempted soul forever.



The promises have not failed. They simply have not all been fulfilled yet. And sometimes they get fulfilled in ways we would never expect, like deliverance for John.

We will be healed. God can be trusted. As Jesus told John, "Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me” (Matthew 11:6).

Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

....Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,

Psalm 103:1-3 

Related Posts: Not Enough Faith? Is it My Fault I'm Still Sick?


Joni Earekson Tada Video Visit--Don't Waste Your Suffering

Tomorrow's Post: A Message for Everyone Who has tried to Fix Me

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Not Enough Faith? Is It My Fault I'm Still Sick?

Hebrews 11 is a marvelous chapter known to many as the Hall of Faith. The first half of the chapter lists great heroes of the Old Testament. Then verses 33-35a are enough to make you cheer; subduing kingdoms, obtaining promises, stopping lions and escaping fire and sword. Victory in battle, and even having the dead brought back to life again.

How did all this happen? "Through faith," says verse 33. The faith that moves mountains.

That faith has not been extinguished over time. Believers still see God do mighty things. Cancer disappears. Alcoholics get deliverance. Battles are won.

What about us? We who are sick, and have been sick for years? We who have prayed and asked and hoped for healing, but not received it?

Many would say our chronic illness or disease is representative of our lack of faith. That we failed in our battle. We lost. If we could only believe more, condemn the sickness, declare ourselves healthy, we would be free. (I've heard those; you likely have too.)

Those people did not heed the rest of the chapter on faith. Look on, starting right after those believers who had the ultimate visual victory--the dead coming to life again--as a representation of their faith:

...and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance...

they were stoned, they were sawn asunder, 

were tempted, were slain with the sword...

destitute, afflicted, tormented... (Heb. 11:35b-37)

Wait a minute. How can words like afflicted and tormented be in a chapter celebrating faith? Many would say those people didn't have enough faith. If they had, they would have been delivered to live a comfortable and healthy and victorious life, right?

Not according to God. Read on. The chapter ends this way:

And these all, having obtained a good report through faith... (vs 39)

Sometimes faith results in healing or victory, in what looks to us humans like what faith should look like. As Jesus said, If you have enough faith, you can tell a mountain to move and it will (Matthew 17:20). That a pretty obvious way to show your faith.

Does that mean that people whose mountains move are closer to God, and people who have mountains still in their backyard aren't?

Not necessarily.

I could list many examples in Scripture, but let's go straight to our ultimate example of perfect faith and oneness with God--Jesus Christ.

First, Jesus never told a mountain to move so we could "see" His faith. In fact, He rejected the suggestion every time His disciples, skeptics, or even Satan suggested He do an obvious sign to prove Himself to the world. We should take that to heart. Faith shouldn't be about the show.

Second, Jesus prayed a prayer that God said "no" to. Jesus even asked God "why?" Both were during the time of His greatest suffering. Both were during a time when religious people questioned His faith (the faith of the Messiah Himself!) and mocked His lack of "ability" to get off the cross. Both were also on the path to the greatest glory and victory history has ever witnessed.

At one point, Jesus said He could have made the problem go away. He could have instantly summoned legions of angels to deliver Him (Matthew 26:53). Take away His pain. Give Him health and wealth.

Instead, He let the mountain remain. He asked God, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). 

For some of us, God wants the mountain to remain. Moving it might impress people and make them feel like we have faith, but sometimes it takes more faith to let God be glorified through our suffering rather than being delivered from it.

As in Hebrews, sometimes God is glorified by delivering His children from the trial. Other time, He is glorified by not delivering them.

I live right at the base of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Those beautiful peeks have been there for millennia, despite the fact that this the Bible Belt and there are many people with great faith here. Why do they remain? Is it because no one has had enough faith to move them? Or because God wants them there? They glorify Him to the world. When I see them, I am filled with awe, given peace, reminded by lifting up my eyes to hills that my help comes from God (Psalm 121).

For some reason, God has chosen not to move my mountain of chronic illness. He has moved many others in my life--I have seen Him do amazing things--but this one He has allowed to remain.

If I love Him, if I care more about His glory than my own comfort (or with convincing people like Job's friends, which is usually a waste of verbiage), then I will pray like Jesus. I can ask God to move the mountain--remove the suffering--but end that what I want most is for His will to be done, not mine.

Sometimes it take more faith to not get what you want....but more on that tomorrow.

Related Posts: Joni Earekson Tada Video-Don't Waste Your Suffering

Tomorrow's Post: If Jesus Delivers the Captives, Why Won't He Deliver Me?

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A Day in a Bangladesh Factory-My Response to the Dhaka Buidling Collapse Tragedy

I was pretty new to Bangladesh the day some friends took me to tour a carpet factory. The experience was incredible to my 22-year-old senses. Huge machines wielding massive spools of thread, following instructions poked into cards like the kind that used to run those old self-playing pianos, shuttling out row after row of what would become another of those beautiful oriental carpets that cost so much money on this side of the world.

Piles of jute waiting to become a carpet.

We were shown around and I marveled at carpets stacked 8-10 feet high in huge warehouse rooms. When I climbed up on one stack to get a picture, I accidentally breathed in some clump of something and started coughing. I coughed and coughed and almost couldn't breathe. I can't imagine working their every day all day for years.

The thing that struck me most about the factory was not the beautiful rugs or huge machinery or even the workers. It was the measures they had put in place in case of fire. Next to a support pole I saw a barrel of water. Above that barrel hung two small buckets that had once been painted red, labeled, "Fire."

With all the dust, threads and debris floating through the air, not to mention the carpets and jute piles all over the building, a fire would incinerate the place with fury, and quickly. That little bucket-full might douse an overcooked marshmallow, but was ridiculous in this situation. Yet it hung there, almost in mockery of anyone who actually cared about safety.

Hearing about the garment factory that collapsed in Dhaka, Bangladesh, was painful. Like that fire bucket, that garment factory probably had "safety measures" put in place only to satisfy some clause in some document that would make overseas realtors feel like they'd achieved a modicum of safety.

Bangladesh is one of only 2 countries in the wold in such bad shape it's considered a 5th world country. The buildings are decrepit and conditions are bad. It's a very good place to get very cheap stuff.

But the cost is still high.

I lived in Bangladesh for 2 years and every day could see the huge groups of girls walking together in herds to and from the factory (it's not safe to walk alone--it can also be unsafe to be a garment factory girl if a manager takes an interest). I was there when Kathy Lee Gifford changed the rules that kids couldn't work in her sweat shops. It made things harder, not easier, for families in Bangladesh. What was intended for good ended up with families having to bribe the factory owners to let their children come back to work. Now that it was illegal for children to work there, the owners could get them for less pay, knowing people were desperate and if the children didn't work the less there was to eat.

As much as videos like the above (about the Dhaka collapse and major companies who refuse to sign a document insuring more safety measure like fire escapes) are important, and documents and laws create good change overall, I see a bigger problem, one that streams all the way to each of us and the choices we make.

If we were in Bangladesh, I would take you to a special outdoor market where the extras from garment factories are sold. I could buy name brand stuff ridiculously cheap there. In fact, I could even buy the brands themselves. At one place, I bought a handful of labels--Calvin Kline, Reebox, etc. For pennies, I could have bought a major name brand and put it on any dumb shirt I had.

I fact, I had this urge to buy the ugliest outfit I could find and slap a major label on it, and see if people thought I was cool.

It's a modern version of the emperor's new clothes. Americans ignore the fact that their mega brand expensive shirt might be made in the same exact factory as the cheapo stuff at Wal-Mart. Instead, our culture for some reason loves to pretend there's a big difference, and spending lots of money on one makes us more significant than spending a little money on another.

Not buying name brands is not going to fix Bangladesh's factory problems, but it might help with the bigger problem that connects all of this. Greed. Greed by major corporations is the reason so many of our clothes are being made by Bangladeshis who may not even have a 2nd outfit or a pair of shoes. Greed keeps them from investing to keep buildings from collapsing, or paying their workers a decent wage. But we can't lay all the blame at the corporations feet. Greed is also what keeps Americans shopping in malls, always looking for something new, when nearly every American has more than much of the world can even imagine. Greed for status keeps parents buying their kids the name brand shoes. Greed for popularity has teens buying the latest cool brand this year, though their closet is full and overflowing with last year's cool clothes, and the year before that.

Maybe a solution would be that we, who have so much, would stop snatching up more from over there, and instead start giving something back in that direction.

Kohls and Gap and Target have more than enough. They should gladly give up a little extra for the good of the world, right?

So should we.

Special Post: Charles Ramsey, Human Trafficking, and the Hero Next Door

Defining moments do not create heroes among us; they simply bring to light those among us who already are.

If you haven't been on the internet or seen the news over the past week, and thus don't know who Charles Ramsey is, he's the ordinary-looking neighbor who rescued three girls who had been trafficked and trapped in a house for 10 years. Yes, 10 years. One even had a child during that time. More than one suffered miscarriages. You don't need me to fill in the details.

People had searched for these missing girls. Had vigils. Cried. Prayed.

Then one random day, after bar-b-ques in the man's backyard and chats with neighbors and the trafficker playing with kids in the area--one day a man saw something that wasn't right.

And he did what was right.

 

For a moment, let's put ourselves in their shoes:

First, the trapped girls.

Amanda Berry

Each had been stolen after one important mistake--each had gotten into a stranger's car. That one moment led to 10 years of horror. Though in a "normal" neighborhood, they were slaves. Should they try to escape? Would anyone help them? Would anyone believe their story?
In many cases like this, the beatings endured are not just physical. Trafficked victims are told it is their fault, they deserve what happened to them, there is nothing good for them outside, the only person who will love them or take care of them is the trafficker himself, etc. In time, if you hear a lie enough, you begin to believe it, even if that lie is that you are worth nothing and nobody out there cares about you.
Then there is fear. If you try to escape and are caught, there are many methods traffickers use to make sure you regret it. Unspeakable things. And not only to you, but to anyone you love. Threats against family or friends have kept many trafficked victims silent. Add to that the possibility that, if you get out, no one will believe you and you will be sent back.Or you may encounter someone who looks at your clothing and decides what kind of person you are, and refuses to help because you "must have done something to deserve all this." (Horrible thought, but it happens.)

Knowing all that, it makes Amanda Berry's escape attempt all the more heroic. That took incredible courage.

What might have happened? Any of the above, and she would once again be trapped in that house while the owner laughed with neighbors out in the yard.

Instead, a random person saw. He not only saw, but he acted.

From his perspective:

Mr. Ramsey could have decided:

It was none of his business.
It was likely a domestic dispute (which is what he at first thought) and he didn't want to get in the middle of that.
He didn't have time to get involved.
Things could get messy, he didn't want to get caught up in a legal problem.
It could be dangerous.
Why should he care anyway?
He didn't know what to do, so better to do nothing.

In the Post Office yesterday, I heard the mail workers laughing over Charles Ramsey's quote: "Bro, I knew something was wrong when a little, pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms. Something is wrong here."

While I'm impressed that he cracked a joke rather than turning the moment into a racial argument, I was even more impressed when he was offered reward money and said, "I already get a paycheck. Give it to the girls who were rescued."

Wow. The world is looking at a man who was defined by a moment. However, it wasn't the moment itself that defined him. It was what he did in that moment, acting on stuff that was already inside him.

What about you? If a moment came your way, would you tell yourself the above excuses and turn away? Trafficking thrives on apathy; people coming up with reasons not to get involved. It thrives on lack of awareness; people not knowing what to do.

My question today is not whether you are out actively looking for victims to help. My questions is, if one came running your way, what would you do? Would the moment define you as a hero?

Charles Ramsey, I thank you for how you answered that question!


Sources:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57583345/charles-ramsey-ohio-hero-and-internet-sensation/
http://news.yahoo.com/charles-ramsey-hero-amanda-berry-rescue
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/castro-note-120750000.html

Kermit Gosnell, Abortion, and Human Trafficking

I write and speak and research on human trafficking. A lot. But one thing I have to avoid is the trafficking of young children. I can tell people that 300 children are sold in Atlanta every month, but I cannot bear to study what happens to so many of those children. It is unspeakable.

Many define human trafficking as the buying and selling of people--of bodies--yet it encompasses much more than that. International Consultant Lauran Bethall, in Nefarius, defines it as "the exploitation of vulnerability."

Do Kermit Gosnell's actions not fill that definition to the brim?. His story is sickening because he harmed children too small to defend themselves, too helpless to speak up for their rights. In my opinion, this is human trafficking at its worst--one person benefiting from the exploitation and destruction of those too helpless to fight back.

When I was 12 weeks pregnant, I had my first ultrasound in a little hospital via-5-seater-airplane in Indonesia. My tiny baby son, enjoying the orange juice I'd had awhile earlier, twirled and kicked and flipped, to the delight of everyone in the room. It was one of the most precious things I'd ever seen.

No one on the planet could have convinced me that my baby was "just" a fetus, and I could destroy his life at will without guilt.

My second child was born 6 1/2 weeks early. The moment she was born, had someone taken scissors and cut her spine, it would have been murder. However, had someone done the same exact thing thirty minutes before she exited my body, it would be called late-term abortion.

You may not agree with me, but I consider abortion to be the worst kind of human trafficking.

If you have had an abortion, I do not condemn you. You have suffered, and Jesus holds out forgiveness, freedom, and peace to you. As one commentor said:
"Those who are in favor of abortion like to call themselves 'pro-choice'  But this is not accurate at all.  The women I know who had abortions did not have them because they believed abortion to be a good choice.  They had abortions because a lack of financial, medical, or psychological support made them feel as if they had NO choice.  Tragically, they now realize the so-called 'choice' they made will haunt them for the rest of their lives."  Why I Didn't Write About Gosnell's Trial

Were it in my right to condemn, I would point toward those who not only do these things, but teach others that it is right. Those who, like Gosnell, actually break babies in pieces and throw them in the trash (whether out of the womb or inside--logically, what is the difference?), and those who, by their silence, give their approval. 14 Theories for Why Kermit Gosnell's Case Didn't Get More Attention

The media ignored Gosnell's story completely, until finally the American public gave such an outcry that their silence became embarrassingly obvious. Media Acknowledge Blowing Gosnell Story

Edmund Burke once said, "All it takes for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." He also said there comes a time when forbearance ceases to be a virtue.

I have an even better quote from a higher authority. For anyone who does not think it matters:
Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. Matthew 18:10

For anyone who thinks it's not your problem:
Open your mouth for the speechless,in the cause of all who are appointed to die.Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31:8-9

As Ann Vonskamp said, For Christ followers, it’s more than being pro-choice and pro-life — it’s about always being pro-the-least-of-these. What Gosenell and the Gospel mean for the Brave

When someone charges into a school and shoots kindergarten children, the world is outraged and horrified. However, if every single one of those exact same children had been killed before birth, they would just be a few more in the 1 million children silenced each year in our nation. Those broken and discarded each year at 12 weeks, when I had my ultrasound: over 110,000. Those killed at 21+ weeks, up to and past the time when my precious little girl was born: over 18,000 a year.

You may disagree that abortion is human trafficking. That's fine. But can you see how the one perspective feeds the other? If it is okay to decide that certain life can be destroyed without guilt, is it not also okay to decide certain people can be abused without guilt?

If a puppy was cut into pieces and thrown in the trash, it would be "inhumane."

If an eagle still inside it's egg is harmed, it is a federal crime.

If it happens to a baby outside the womb, it is murder.

If it happens to a baby inside the womb, it's funded by the government, promoted by a company with "parenthood" in its title, and shoved down our cultural throats by the media.

In my opinion, Grosnell is a human trafficker. He will answer to God for what he has done.

We also will answer to God for what we do, or don't do, in the face of a nation that says killing babies is okay as long as they are tucked safely inside a woman's body and we cannot watch them die or hear them scream.

Does it take a trial like Gosnell's to make it clear, or are we just choosing to look the other way?

For I, the LORD, love justice. Isaiah 61:8

And they have built the high places...to burn their sons and their daughters in the fire; which I commanded them not, neither came it into my heart.Therefore, behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that it shall no more be called Tophet...but the valley of slaughter: 

for they shall bury in Tophet, till there be no place. Jeremiah 7:31-32

Statistics from: Q&A about Abortion

Related Articles: Beyonce and Human Trafficking

MS and Broken Dreams: Bethany's Story

Today's interview is with Bethany Hayes, a friend from my college days, who has suffered from MS since 2003. Bethany is one of the most godly people I have ever known. Her perspective...well, I'll let her words speak for themselves...

Bethany with Anne Vonskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts (Photo by Kirsten Wilson)

What was your first emotional reaction to finding out you had chronic health problems?
I kind of did the backward of normal.  It completely changed my life, living situation, work, everything.  But I was completely at peace.  I think because so many people were praying me through it. The symptoms gradually worsened, but the initial diagnosis was easier to bear and accept.

I then transitioned into crying a lot, which was NOT normal for me. The times I would cry most were when I saw wheelchairs or walkers or even people in a movie or a commercial who were running or doing something with their legs I thought I’d never be able to do again.  I remember one day my mom bought me a lounge chair to use on the back porch.  All I could do was cry.  Sitting and lounging around were never my favorite things to do.  Before my initial symptoms, I was going for 2-mile walks every morning; right after work, I’d go to the gym and work out; I was on a local women’s softball team (I was obsessed by exercise, in other words!).  I wept, because I knew I’d never do those things again.
 
A few years ago, I went through a very dark time where for months, I wrestled with doubts about God, whether this strong faith (HE had given!) up until then was just a waste; wondering if He had forgotten about me after all; that maybe He isn’t so good because it seems He just takes us through one hard thing to get us ready for a harder thing.  It was a horrible, dark, terrible time! But while I was crying out to Him, I felt Him holding onto me, even though there I had anger and questions in my heart as He was doing it.
 
The “emotional reactions” have been a transition from acceptance-crying-questioning-acceptance. Now, it’s kind of a combination of all of the above – which, I would say, is probably a point where most people with chronic illness finally end up. . .but one that isn’t necessarily a bad place to be.
 
We don’t ignore that it’s hard at times and painful at times and we have needs we never thought we’d have.  But, at the same time (even while we’re crying), we’re accepting it, because the Lord has allowed us to realize the value of all we’ve had to go through and are going through.  Or if we don’t realize the value in it yet, we are at least holding on to what we know about Him – which is really the only way we will ever accept the hard things He allows.

How do you deal with the identity crisis that having a chronic illness often involves?
It’s undeniable that a chronic illness changes pretty much everything about you. Much of what was most important about who I was or what I was doing in my life drastically changed. But, thankfully, the Lord drew me to the Scriptures, and I began to study who I really am in Christ--what that really means and looks like.  That we are each a re-creation, a workmanship, a person with the indwelling presence of Christ in the setting that He has each placed us.
  
Our truest identity is not found in having a disease, working for such-and-such a company, being a mom, or being single.  If any of those things changed (just like being diagnosed with MS completely changed my life), it doesn’t really change ME, because of who I most deeply, really am.

I like what C.S. Lewis said in Mere Christianity: “The more we get what we now call ‘ourselves’ out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become. There is so much of Him that millions of millions of ‘little Christs’ all different will still be too few to express Him fully.”

Illness is just our platform for displaying the life of Christ to those around us. It’s not who we most deeply are.

*******

Be sure to check in tomorrow for Part II, where Bethany answers questions including:
How do you deal with the hurt that comes when people either don’t know what to say or don’t say anything at all?
and
What advice would you share to someone who just found out they had a lifelong condition? 

Beyonce and Human Trafficking

A lot of money was spent for the Super Bowl halftime show. I watched parts of it, saw a famous and very beautiful woman slither around, lie down, and visually seduce thousands of men in that stadium and around the world.

We all know sex sells. Our culture is saturated with it. It is estimated that up to 10,000 girls are brought into town for Super Bowl weekend just for that purpose. However, these girls are not famous like Beyonce. They don't have the freedom to only visually sell themselves.

They are trafficked. Slaves. Forced to do whatever it takes to make it through the night and get their quota to keep from being beaten or worse.

And in my opinion, Beyonce is part of the problem.

I watched clips of her show. She wore lingerie--what most of us women wouldn't wear outside our bedrooms. It was clear her show was less about music and more about, well, sex. She sang and danced and rolled around on the stage, visually enticing thousands of men. Then what? The show ended, the game came back on.

Later that night, what happened to all those men who were affected by her performance? Please pardon my frankness, but how many of them got online and ordered a girl to come finish what Beyonce started?

If a pizza company had paid millions to strategically place a long, luscious pizza ad during the Super Bowl, then later that night thousands of people ordered pizzas, that ad manager would feel himself a big success.

Well, thousands of girls were used that night, ordered over the internet as easily as one can order a pizza. In my opinion, Beyonce was part of that.

If asked, I'm sure she would say that trafficking is wrong and should be stopped. Most people think that. But it's not what we think; it's what we do that shows who we really are. Beyonce sells sexuality, and the rampant sexuality in our culture fuels human trafficking. It sends messages to men that women are objects to be used and enjoyed. It sends messages to girls that to be valuable they must be not only beautiful and thin, but sexy and seductive. Both messages are wrong. Both feed trafficking, because men who believe women are objects have no problem paying to use one. Girls who believe they are only valuable for their sexuality are vulnerable to exploitation.

Beyonce once said in an interview,
“I’m really kind of shy...more reserved, and, um, nothing like Sasha (the spirit she says possesses her on stage). But I guess I wouldn't be very entertaining on stage, so Sasha comes out and she's fearless, you know, she can do things that I cannot do while in rehearsal....right before I performed, I raised my hands up, and it was kind of the first time I felt something, you know, come into me."

Another time she said,
"When I see a video of myself on stage or TV I'm like, 'Who is that girl? That's not me. I wouldn't dare do that.'"

If Beyonce is letting other voices entice her to sell herself, it is not a far stretch to think she wouldn't mind letting her voice tell others to do the same. I am horrified that so many girls see her as a role model and so many parents allow it. The young girls may not recognize the messages coming through her performances, but every adult certainly should.

One more quote from Beyonce, "I am more powerful than my mind can even digest or understand."

True. That power could be used for such good. Right now it is being used to fuel something totally wrong. A perspective for girls that at its end is trafficking. A perspective for men that at its end is trafficking.

Rescuing trafficked girls is never going to fix the problem of trafficking. The problem starts with demand. As long as major events like the Super Bowl and major stars like Beyonce promote sex and the objectification of women, trafficking will thrive.

This message will likely never get anywhere near Beyonce, so I won't ask her to stop selling herself and learn her worth is in more than her sexuality. You, however, are reading it, so I will talk to you. Your worth is in more than your body, your looks, your power over men, or any other thing that is less than what God says your worth comes from. Your are valuable, priceless, because God made you in His image, and Jesus says you're worth dying for.

No matter how many millions are spent on a pizza ad, if the pizza's lousy, the pizza's lousy. Don't let the world convince you of it's message, no matter how beautiful or popular the package.

 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—

is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; 

but he who does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:16-17

************************************************************************************
If you don't believe the quotes, here's a video of every one of them and more:  
Beyonce, "I get possessed" 

Karen's Story--Part 2

Welcome back for the rest of Karen's amazing story! If you missed the first part, click here: When Health Problems Take Everything Away--Karen's Story

Let's jump right in...

6. What do you feel illness has taken from you?

·         It has taken my voice—my damaged vocal chords prevent me from singing

·         It has taken my ability to just get out and go with friends, since I can’t walk or climb.

·         It has taken my ability to travel—I never know if I will fit into an available seat if I have to carry things myself (like food trays), or if there is a restroom I can fit into and get up from.

·         It has kept me from serving as a volunteer and doing my fair share of work

·         It has prevented me from keeping my house in order, cooking healthy meals because I can’t stand for that long, and having fun with healthy people.

7. What would you tell others who suffer chronic illness?

I recently had an epiphany—Satan can affect our physical body because we live in his domain. Our soul, however, will be released from the physical world when we die and we will never be at Satan’s mercy again. This is the definition of freedom for us. We will be free indeed. In the meantime, what Satan means for evil, God will use for good.

So many times we forget that there is a spiritual world we cannot see with our eyes. Those of us with chronic illness are involved in this spiritual warfare every day in a physical way. For years, depression stopped me dead and kept me from believing God loved me. I reached such a deep pit of depression that I wanted to die. In my deceptive belief that God didn’t love me, I decided not to kill myself. That choice was not because I felt it was wrong. It was because I felt God hated me so much that I would fail at suicide, too, and end up maimed for the rest of my life and at the mercy of people who didn’t care about me. In my total despair, I realized the only light in my dark world was hidden under my negative heart. It was God. He told me to get out of the way and He would light my world for me. No matter how dark our world seems, God is always there willing to lead us to victory over the spirit of darkness.

8. How do you stay joyful despite disappointment and pain?

I admit that sometimes my ability to laugh is “acting.” People don’t like people who are depressed. So, I have learned to adapt. When I realize I’m pretending to be happy, it is a clear indication that I need to spend some alone time with Jesus. I need to focus on Him, instead of myself. If we place a holy cloth over our pain and suffering and shine light on the needs of others, we can’t help but find joy. Suffering is selfish. I am guilty of this way too often. None of us is perfect and sometimes we just need to have a Pity Party. I try to make it a party for one and not affect others. But, there are times when we need to be open and honest about our struggles. They are necessary to serve as encouragement to others.

I remember once when a lady in my Bible study, who was dying from her diabetes and kidney failure, broke down and asked for prayer for her attitude. Now, this was the lady who came into the church with a smile on her face every day. She never complained when infection set up in her port for dialysis. She never griped about the pain she suffered every day. She never stopped smiling when insensitive people asked about how she could smile when she knew she was dying or what sin she had committed that caused God to punish her. But that one day, she sobbed in despair, asking us to pray because she was overwhelmed with pain and suffering and the daily struggles. I got up from my chair, walked around the table and wrapped my arms around her. I said, “Thank you. Thank you letting us know it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to need help. It’s okay not to smile every day. You have helped me more than you can know today. When you smiled through it all, I felt inadequate, selfish, and unspiritual because I couldn’t smile.”

How many people are out there in our world smiling through their suffering because people who have never suffered think we are sinning if we don’t smile?

I stay joyful because I know nothing is wasted with God, I trust Him to use my pain for the benefit of others and to further His kingdom. I relieve the strain of suffering by sharing with others and by praying with them.

9. What would you tell others about living with chronic illness?

1.      Don’t use it as an excuse to separate yourself from others and God.

2.      You need people. If you are homebound, write notes to others who need encouragement, call people who are also alone, get on the computer. Don’t spend your time whining or talking about yourself. Ask others about their lives, their struggles, their joys.

3.      Keep a list of blessings. Add to it every day. Force yourself to think about all the good things you have in your life. What you concentrate on, dominates you.

4.      Keep a prayer journal. Pray constantly for others.

5.      Keep a journal of your journey. Sometimes, when we just put our feelings on paper, we can see things we wouldn’t normally see. What makes you happy? What frustrates you? What do you wish you could do for someone else? Come up with your own list.

10. How do you still believe God is good when so much has gone wrong?

This has taken years to understand. At this point, I know that God has a purpose in everything. If my health problems can help one other person grow closer to Him, it is worth it. If my vulnerability can lead one other person to His forgiving grace, it is worth it. If it brings me to a closer relationship with Him, it is worth it.

He promised “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” This is true. He has never left me. He didn’t promise life would be easy, He promised to be there with us. I know when I die, I will be released from the prison of this body and will be free finally, totally and completely. No more pain! I will dance, sing, and move painlessly forever.

Karen Nolan Bell entered the world fighting for survival—and the trend has continued. She grew up in the mountains of southeastern Kentucky, amidst the smell of coal dust and the majesty of mist rising out of the hollers in the early morning light. Her dream was to matter to the people who judged her, to be loved by her family and friends, and to make a difference to the lives of people who struggle like her. She never knew that dream would lead her through a lifetime of adventure, struggles, challenges and achievements beyond her imaginings. Her artistic gifts of music, art, photography, writing and acting have been the tools God used to reach out to the hurting hearts of her world to validate, encourage, and pray for their struggles as well.

 

For more on her story (some of it had to be cut for length, but she's willing to send the full interview if requested), or just to say hi, contact Karen at karennolanbell@gmail.com.