96% of Chronic Illnesses are Invisible--meaning "You Don't Look Sick!"

I don't know about you, but I was shocked to discover nearly 1 out of every 2 people in our country have some type of chronic illness.

Even more shocking is that 96% of those illnesses are "invisible," which of course leads to the oft-heard phrase, "But you don't look sick!"

Chronic illness is tough and stressful. People with chronic illness are more prone to depression. (That seems understandable to me; sick people aren't usually naturally perky.) The divorce rate among those with chronic illness is a whoppin 75%. (Spouses of sick people aren't usually that perky either.)

So...all that to say we who live with chronic illness could use some encouragement. Something to smile about!

I am hoping Laughter for the Sick & Tired, the companion book to Sick & Tired, will do just that. I'm hoping this little book will end up in doctor's offices and hospital waiting rooms, ready to give sick, tired (and bored!) people a little dose of funny to help them get through the day. If you think your doctor's office would be willing to put a copy in their waiting room, PLEASE sign up for my newsletter at www.kimberlyrae.com
to find out how you can get free autographed copies for them, and a free thank-you copy for you!

I also got some tote bags, but rather than tell you about them, I'll show you!

(Side note: This video was made for the home page on my website, 

so when I talk about signing up on the right, that's at www.kimberlyrae.com)

I am so excited about these books. I really think they will help people...
1. Feel validated
2. Know they are not alone
3. Have hope that they can live well despite chronic illness
4. Choose joy

Will you help me spread the word about these books to those who need them? If those statistics are true, there are over 100 million people in the US who are sick, so it's likely that pretty much everyone you know either has some kind of illness or loves someone who does. That's a lot of people. I can't reach them all, but with your help, we can sure reach a bunch!

You can look below and see little options for sharing on Google+, Facebook, Twitter and more. If you share this post on any or all of the options, Thank You!

Here's a little sample from Laughter, just for fun...

From Real Medical Charts (supposedly):

*The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

*The skin was moist and dry.

*She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

*The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

*The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.[i]

---

[i] http://www.most-funny-jokes.com/funny-medical-jokes-actual-medical-charts.html

I hope you choose joy today!

Laughing Through Lyme's--Guest Post by my favorite cartoonist John McPherson!

Note: I was supposed to blog today about Job's friends and what not to do when a friend is suffering. However, I'm having a pretty yucky day, and thus have decided to take my own advice and admit it, and give myself a break. We'll get to Job later. =)

Today, instead, let's talk about something more cheerful! I'm so excited to introduce you to...

John McPherson, award-winning creator of Close to Home comics, my favorite book therapy when I’m sick or recovering. When I started working on the Sick & Tired series, I remember thinking it would be so neat to have his comics in my book. Since they helped cheer me up when I was feeling lousy, they could help others too! So, not expecting to hear back really, I looked him up and sent an e-mail, and was shocked when he replied that same day. Not only was he interested in being part of Sick & Tired, but he shared that he suffers with Lyme disease, so understands how it is to have a chronic illness. No wonder his comics about hospitals and medicine are so true-to-life!

 

If you, like me, are curious as to how someone becomes a cartoonist, here’s John’s story of how he got started…

How I got into cartooning:

People always want to know how you get into a profession like cartooning.  And for obvious reasons; we get to hang out on tropical beaches while we draw, scan the stuff into our syndicates and then tool around the world in leer jets until the next batch of cartoons is due in a month.  Ah, if only it were so (jet fuel has become too expensive for me to tool around much anymore).

My cartooning career began by accident in Bayonne NJ, in a squalid little apartment where three of my friends lived.  We were up one Sunday morning and were looking at the comic pages.  We were smart-alecky college kids and generally made fun of the comics at the time, being too foolish to see their true wisdom.  At any rate, one of my friends dared me to draw a cartoon, which I did.  I had no art background, but I scrawled out something inane and he laughed, so that’s what counted.   In the weeks that followed, I started tooling around a bit more with cartooning, merely to mail to my friends and entertain them (this was back in the days before cable TV, so good entertainment was hard to come by).

 
As I sat in college classes I started jotting down ideas for single panel cartoons until I had quite a stash of them.  

I got out of school with a degree in mechanical engineering, at a time when it was actually hard to find a job as an engineer.  It was really during this period of part-time jobs, living with my parents that I truly got into cartooning.  I started drawing up the ideas that I had, keeping them in a little drawing book.  At the same time, I finally got an engineering job near Albany, NY and settled in the quaint little town of Saratoga Springs. I sent some of my cartoons off to a little semi-monthly paper called The Glens Falls Chronicle, and oddly enough, the editor there, Mark Frost, liked my cartoons!  He was willing the pay me five buck a cartoon, which meant ten bucks a month for me.  Nothing like cold, hard cash to put a fire under one's feet.  I started drawing more cartoons, this time with an eye on the magazine market, where cartoonists could get paid $35 or $40, and be able to buy socks and groceries and deodorant.  
 
I began sending batches of cartoons off to magazines. I'd put together a batch of 8 or 10 cartoons and send them off to a particular magazine.  When they rejected my stuff (which of course they did!), then I'd send those same toons off to another magazine, and so on.  I would try to keep as many batches out in circulation as possible, thereby greatly enhancing my chances of getting more rejection letters.  My technique worked.  Rejection letters just poured in.  Fortunately, I was enjoying drawing cartoons so much that getting published wasn't that big a deal to me.

But then something very strange happened.  I got a letter from Campus Life magazine saying that they liked my stuff.  What I sent wasn't quite right, but could I send more?  So I sent off a batch of cartoons that was more school oriented, and amazingly, they bought 2 cartoons for $50 each.  It was so cool to get $100 for drawing some cartoons.

Now, years later, I’m making a little more than $100. I'm working on deadline these days, which is basically how I do it most of the time.  I have to submit work at a minimum of 11 days ahead of when they appear, and draw one week at a time.  I know some people have the notion that we cartoonists draw one cartoon a day and walk it down to their individual newspaper offices.  This of, of course, would be impossible, since Close To Home is now carried in over 291,000 papers around the world and I would have to walk to all those places and I cannot because I have a bad ankle.

Thanks, John, for joining us today! 

Feel free to leave a note for John below, or share what helps you when you're feeling down.

Be sure to get your copy of Sick & Tired: Empathy, Encouragement, and Practical Help for those Suffering from Chronic Health Problems, to see more of John’s hilarious medical comics! (Now available on Amazon for pre-order, or sign up at www.kimberlyrae.com for the newsletter so you can get exclusive offers for launch day.)

Are you Sick & Tired of Feeling Sick & Tired?

Sometimes I just want off this merry-go-round. I'm sick. I'm tired. And I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Know what I mean? It's a tough road we sickies travel. We have to deal with our daily symptoms and pile of pills, plus the doctors who scratch their heads, acquaintances who either think we're faking it or are certain we'd be better if we just tried their latest whatever, and the friends who think they're encouraging us when they say, "But you don't look sick!"

But you don't look sick! Well...okay...maybe today you do...

Some days I just want to hear somebody say it stinks. Somebody who really gets it, who will tell me a funny story and remind me I'm not alone. Somebody who will tell me I really can get through this day, and they're cheering me on.

Funny thing is, though there are over 100 million people in our country living with chronic illness, we aren't very good at getting together to encourage one another. We could schedule a support group, but it would be exhausting having to get dressed and get there and interact with people. We could plan big events or conferences, but most of us would end up getting sick that day and not being able to show up!

Therefore, one of the best ways for a sick person to be encouraged is through a book. A book doesn't expect you to answer a bunch of questions like, "Are you feeling better?" or mind if you're still wearing your pjs. A book won't get upset if you only read a page or two then fall asleep because you were up most of the night.

So over the years I've looked for books that would help me deal with having a lifelong health condition. I found:

John McPherson's Close to Home comics--my favorite therapy when I'm recovering or down. I love his medical ones, and am beyond thrilled that he is letting me put his comics in my book! (More on that in another post.)

Barbara Johnson's Stick a Geranium in Your Hat and Be Happy books, which are full of fun stories and cheer-you-up quotes, but I can only handle her in small doses because she's really random and SHE LOVES TO USE ALL CAPS AND TONS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS AND THAT DRIVES ME INSANE!!!!!!

Other than that, I haven't found much. Having a condition for 15 years and only having a handful of encouraging resources is a plain ol' bummer. I could find books that were deep and heavy dealing with illness, but to be honest, if I want to feel weighted down, all I have to do is start listing my symptoms.

So, just like with my Stolen series, I moved forward on the advice that if you can't find the book you want to read, you must write it. My new book, Sick & Tired, is due for release next month! I'm so excited about it, because with it I get to have a fun sit-down-and-let's-chat way to encourage other people dealing with illness, without any of us having to dress up, put on our makeup, or make small talk!

The publishers let my Facebook friends vote on the cover! D got the most votes.

Sick & Tired covers topics like:
When the Well-Meaning Annoy You
It's Not Fair!
Grieving the Loss of Who You used to be
Losing Your Identity to Illness
How to Explain your Condition with Confidence

I have prednisone to thank for getting me started, but that's a story for next week. For now, if you want to make sure you keep in the loop about Sick & Tired and its companion book, Laughter for the Sick & Tired, sign up for my newsletter at www.kimberlyrae.com. I'll be sending out an exclusive offer just to e-mail subscribers sometime this month, so sign up soon so you don't miss it!

Until the book comes out to say it officially, here's my message to you:
It stinks, but you are not alone. You can get through this day. I'm cheering you on!


Related Posts: What Sick People Wish Healthy People Knew

My Name is Kimberly and I have Addison's Disease

Urgent Care, Steroids and Antibiotics-Here I Go Again

Next Week: Thank You, Prednisone, for the Book

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Medical Mondays: Dancing Monkey Heads and a Sleeping Pill

I thought I'd found the magic solution. Not without trepidation, mind you. I've resisted taking a prescription sleeping pill for years, knowing the tendencies toward addiction and depression.

However, it's been years since I've slept well. Really, years. I have this cyst on my brain that squishes the part that makes melatonin, which regulates the sleep-wake cycle. My sleep-wake cycle seems to be on a stay-up-till-3 with lots of energy then be groggy through the normal day cycle. Great if you're a writer; not so great if you're the mom of 2 young kids who need breakfast in the morning.

"Feed Me!" =)

So I finally gave in and, for the good of my family, I asked the doctor about a sleeping pill. She prescribed me Ambien. For once, I didn't look up all the possible side effects. I didn't want to know. Maybe, just maybe, this once I wouldn't be among the few that had the weirdest ones.

I took a pill, prayed that nothing bad would happen, and went to sleep.

I actually went to sleep. Hallelujah! This was fantastic! Why hadn't I done it sooner?

Getting to sleep at night made me feel like a totally different person. Literally. I was sleeping when I normally would sit at my computer for hours trying to fill up the time with something useful. During the day I was actually awake and could function. I didn't quite know what to do with myself, but it was wonderful.

In the meantime, I've been tapering on my steroids, trying to get back down to my regular dosage after being up over Christmastime due to sickness. Thanks to getting decent sleep, I was able to taper faster than I ever have before. I had the headaches and nausea and stomach issues from drug withdrawals, but I could handle that. They'd go away as I stabilized.

Only they didn't. They got worse. And worse. And then weird things started happening. I was having trouble waking up terrified. I was forgetting things. (One night at church, I left the car running the entire service and didn't notice till I couldn't find my keys afterward!) I felt like I was going a little crazy.

Uh-oh. Finally, I got out my computer and looked up Ambien side effects. Sure enough, I found all kinds of people who were having the same trouble, or worse. Lots of people called people or texted them in the middle of the night and never remembered it the next morning (hope I didn't do that!). Others gained 20 pounds before they realized they were getting up and eating in the middle of the night. One lady actually got arrested--she'd been driving and I'm not sure if she was actually drunk or it was just the medicine. Imagine waking up in jail and not having any idea why!

My favorite was this one guy who hallucinated about monkeys whose heads were spinning around and other weird things. He told his mother and she threw the pills down the toilet.

Sorta cute.

Totally creepy

And just weird.

 

 

So I suppose it could be worse. I could have been dreaming of dancing monkey heads instead of just terrifying things like being trafficked.

Going off the pills was nearly as bad as being on them. I think all the side effects are gone now, but if I do something weird...sorry.

Sigh. I hated giving up the surety of a good night's sleep, but I have to say I'm glad to not be taking a hypnotic narcotic. I really don't need dancing monkey heads added to my life.

The lesson to be learned in all this? I'm not sure yet. If you got one out of the above, could you please let me know what it is? I'm feeling discouraged--don't you just hate it when you try to do something good and it backfires on you? So today instead of me telling you what good you can get out of a lousy situation, maybe you can tell me?

Thanks.

Related Posts:  Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Month--I Want to Run Away

Guilty, Angry, Sick--Leaving the Camp

Who Am I Now? When Illness Takes Your Identity

Chainsaws, Rosebushes, and Other Detriments to Marriage

If you're back to find out how I'm doing on that marriage resolution I made (not speaking out negatively to argue or rebuke or accuse my husband--not even once--till the end of the year), I think I've done pretty good so far, though you'd have to ask my husband to be sure. What has surprised me is how many times I have had to bite my tongue (sometimes literally!) to keep from sharing my negative feelings about even little, insignificant things. Fasting is a strange thing; it reveals to us just how often our cravings master us. 

One time just yesterday something was said that I wanted to react in defensiveness to, but of course I couldn't without blowing my resolution--and since it's only the first week that would be pretty pathetic. I kept my mouth shut and the moment passed, and we ended up having a great evening instead of the tense and likely unpleasant hours that might have resulted by me spouting my negative response. Hmm, maybe I'm learning something already.

On to week 2! In the meantime, here's a funny true story that actually does involved chainsaws and rosebushes...

            My mother has always loved rosebushes.  I think perhaps her favorite was a climbing rosebush that grew right outside the kitchen window of my small, childhood home in Jacksonville, Florida.  It started out small, but Mom waited as the months passed, excited to see the rosebush slowly but persistently creep up the wall toward the kitchen window.

She was so happy when that rosebush had finally climbed high enough to be seen from the kitchen window.

Mom was pointing it out to a friend as they talked together in the kitchen one day when they heard a whirring sound outside the window.  Suddenly, the rosebush was gone.  Bewildered, my mom turned to see my dad come into the house, stating proudly, “I trimmed that bush that was getting too big!”

            Assumptions.  They creep into our thoughts and make a cozy home there, so familiar and reasonable to our own minds that we don’t even realize they are only assumptions until, say, a rosebush comes crashing down, and a husband and wife now have an emotional issue to deal with.

            Assumptions can cause problems from the smallest choices, like what’s for dinner, to the life-changing choices, like financing a house or having children. 

            God designed us so we cannot read other people’s minds, and no one can read our minds (thankfully!).  Somehow, however, we end up thinking that people think through our frame of reference, act and react out of the same motivations that we would, and their words mean the same as they would if they were coming from our mouths. 

And in my opinion, the place where assumptions cause the most damage is in our marriages.

            How can assuming get us into trouble in our marriages?

            When we assume, we can decide our spouses are insensitive or unreasonable.   “He is so selfish!”  “She gets defensive of the littlest things!”  We react out of hurt or our own selfishness.  They react to us . . . .

            And the beat goes on.

            The cycle of hurt grows as it continues.        

            Assumption problems often come from different styles of communication.

            We know the typical: men mean what they say and say what they mean.  Women communicate with words or silence, gestures or tones, facial expressions or body language.  This does not apply in every case of course (don’t assume it does!), but many women read into their husbands non-verbal communication. 

            The husband may be “shouting” things with his non-verbals that he doesn’t intend or feel at all, while the wife may be “shouting” things with her non-verbals on purpose, but he doesn’t notice them because he is only listening to her words.

            Assumptions will cause problems in our conflicts.

            Put any man and woman together, and most likely they will face conflict differently.  Face them head on.  Retreat and hope they go away.  Pretend they don’t exist.   And any given method comes along with assumptions about the reasons for the other person’s methods, assumptions that are likely wrong.

            Why?  Because the motives behind your spouse’s actions and words and probably different than what your motives would be had you used the same actions or words.

You might decide your husband slammed the door out of spite and anger, when really his hands were full and he kicked it hard to make sure it shut tight.  So he goes on his way, assuming nothing is wrong, and returns to find you fuming about how insensitive and cold-hearted he is!

            So how do we keep from allowing assumptions to cause problems?

           Tune in Next Friday for Part 2!

Related Posts: The Right to Fight for Myself

Confessing My Husband's Besetting Sin And...

My Impossible, Ridiculous Until-New-Years Marriage Resolution