However, it's been years since I've slept well. Really, years. I have this cyst on my brain that squishes the part that makes melatonin, which regulates the sleep-wake cycle. My sleep-wake cycle seems to be on a stay-up-till-3 with lots of energy then be groggy through the normal day cycle. Great if you're a writer; not so great if you're the mom of 2 young kids who need breakfast in the morning.
|"Feed Me!" =)|
I took a pill, prayed that nothing bad would happen, and went to sleep.
I actually went to sleep. Hallelujah! This was fantastic! Why hadn't I done it sooner?
Getting to sleep at night made me feel like a totally different person. Literally. I was sleeping when I normally would sit at my computer for hours trying to fill up the time with something useful. During the day I was actually awake and could function. I didn't quite know what to do with myself, but it was wonderful.
In the meantime, I've been tapering on my steroids, trying to get back down to my regular dosage after being up over Christmastime due to sickness. Thanks to getting decent sleep, I was able to taper faster than I ever have before. I had the headaches and nausea and stomach issues from drug withdrawals, but I could handle that. They'd go away as I stabilized.
Only they didn't. They got worse. And worse. And then weird things started happening. I was having trouble waking up terrified. I was forgetting things. (One night at church, I left the car running the entire service and didn't notice till I couldn't find my keys afterward!) I felt like I was going a little crazy.
Uh-oh. Finally, I got out my computer and looked up Ambien side effects. Sure enough, I found all kinds of people who were having the same trouble, or worse. Lots of people called people or texted them in the middle of the night and never remembered it the next morning (hope I didn't do that!). Others gained 20 pounds before they realized they were getting up and eating in the middle of the night. One lady actually got arrested--she'd been driving and I'm not sure if she was actually drunk or it was just the medicine. Imagine waking up in jail and not having any idea why!
My favorite was this one guy who hallucinated about monkeys whose heads were spinning around and other weird things. He told his mother and she threw the pills down the toilet.
|And just weird.|
So I suppose it could be worse. I could have been dreaming of dancing monkey heads instead of just terrifying things like being trafficked.
Going off the pills was nearly as bad as being on them. I think all the side effects are gone now, but if I do something weird...sorry.
Sigh. I hated giving up the surety of a good night's sleep, but I have to say I'm glad to not be taking a hypnotic narcotic. I really don't need dancing monkey heads added to my life.
The lesson to be learned in all this? I'm not sure yet. If you got one out of the above, could you please let me know what it is? I'm feeling discouraged--don't you just hate it when you try to do something good and it backfires on you? So today instead of me telling you what good you can get out of a lousy situation, maybe you can tell me?
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