Medical Mondays: Shut Up and Be At Peace

God doesn't actually uses the phrase "shut up" with me, but I am starting to use it rather often with myself.

You will probably understand when I mention how, especially when in a flare-up of some kind, I spend my day talking and arguing with myself.

What did I do wrong that caused this problem?
I may not have done anything wrong. It may just be a flare up I couldn't have stopped.
But what if I did do something to cause it? I need to figure out what that is so I can keep it from happening again.
Yes, but likely it's just my body not having the strength to fight against this, so again, there's nothing I could have done.
But maybe I did something, or didn't do something, that made my body more vulnerable. What did I eat? Did I go someplace with a lot of germs? Did I do too much activity? Should I have...

On and on it goes. I find arguing stressful in general, and perhaps even more so when it's in my own head because I can't even walk away from myself to get a break!

Adding emotional stress to physical stress is not wise, but I have a hard time getting my brain to follow my understanding of that truth.

This would be the spot where I need to shut up and be peace.

If I get sick, I get sick. I can figure out the whys and what-not-to-dos later. For the sick time, my body needs rest--mental and emotional as well as physical rest--so it can heal.

I'm not good at just resting. I'm good at analyzing, thinking, fixing.

However, knowing I am commanded by God to let the peace of God rule in my heart, me being anxious and stressed trying to figure everything out is actually dishonoring to Him and a disobedience to His will. The wanting to figure things out isn't wrong in itself, but the underlying reason for it--that I am not trusting God's sovereignty and feeling myself wholly responsible to figure out and fix the problem--is wrong. 

The truth is, though I am responsible for the choices I make throughout the day and the consequences that come from them, when it comes to genuine safety or health, I am not in charge. I cannot control my body.

I can, however, exercise control over my mind. Renewing it (Rom 12:2). Bringing every thought into captivity to the will of God (2 Cor. 10:5). Telling it to shut up and let the peace of God rule.

Sometimes I can make choices toward getting better, or at least choices that will not make things worse. In the end, however, my life, my body, my health are all in God's hands.

When I am sick, I need to stop adding to the stress trying to figure it all out, and instead rest in the Lord and let Him fill me with His peace that passes all understanding.

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts...and be thankful. Col. 3:15