Friday

MRI results--a Big Surprise

I got the report of my recent MRI.

I had thought there were 2 possibilities to consider.  I was wrong.  An unexpected 3rd came barreling at me out of nowhere, and I'm still reeling from it.

My pituitary gland showed no abnormalities.  In other words, no pituitary tumor.  Looks like I'm living with an adrenal problem for life.

I admit to being disappointed about that.  I was hoping there was something that could be taken out, fixed, eliminated.  Some way of going back to . . . well, not normal, but being able to function rather dependably would have been pretty awesome.

The report went on to say that they did find something, however.  I found this interesting, and went home to pull up the weird medical terms on the internet and research what it all meant.

I researched and that's when I started reeling.

Do I have a brain tumor?  Technically, no.  Or maybe not.  Do I have something in my brain that doesn't belong there and might have to be removed?  Yes.






I have a 1/2 inch x nearly 1/2 inch x 1/2 inch cyst in my pineal gland.  (Sound like something I shouldn't be talking about in public!)  I looked it up, hoping that maybe it was pushing on my pituitary and causing my problems, only to find, to my dismay, that it isn't anywhere near the pituitary gland--in fact it's smack in the middle of my head.  Some sites listed it as "deep within the brain," but as far as I can tell it's not actually inside the brain, it's a gland right under the brain, nestled deep inside all that other stuff that is in your head under the actual brain part.

This is important, because if it needs to be surgically removed, it's not cutting in my actual brain--though it's close enough to brain surgery to have me feeling . . . well, I was trying to think of intelligent-sounding words like unnerved or disconcerted, but the truth is I'm feeling rather freaked out at the moment.

I mean, really, there's a thing in my head that isn't supposed to be there.  And somebody might want to stick a sharp object into my head to get it out!



That's not something you can say every day.  Sheesh, for being a stay-at-home mom, my life sure is interesting.

Speaking of interesting, continuing my research I found some fascinating facts.  Though a lot of doctors don't know much about the pineal gland, it's recently become knowledge that it is in charge of releasing melatonin--the natural component that regulates your sleeping and waking cycles and helps you sleep.  People get jet lag because their natural melatonin cycles get off.

I've told people that I feel like I've been jet-lagged for years!  Like tonight, there are many nights when I am physically exhausted but I just can't sleep.  My body refuses.  This is good for getting writing done, but not good for being a responsible adult with two young children, or being someone trying to control an adrenal problem where change and lack or rest make it worse.

People with pineal gland cysts often have other symptoms including bad headaches (check), nausea (big check), vomiting (check), vision problems (don't have that one), possibly pituitary problems (how very interesting), and other interesting things that I can't remember. 

So as I was getting very discouraged about the idea of not getting the result I was hoping for and instead finding out about yet another problem (Oh, did I mention that I have asthma, too?  And some kind of stomach issue?  Just so you know everything that's stirring in this pot of soup.), my mom mentioned that maybe having it removed would actually help the adrenal problem some.

Ding, ding, ding.  Bells started ringing, mentally that is.  Maybe this was the missing problem that no one seemed to be able to find.  Maybe because of the stress on my system caused by this cyst, as well as the stress caused by the symptoms, as well as not getting the sleep or the schedule my body needs, maybe that is why being on a normal dose of adrenal meds never seemed enough for me.

Oh my.  So maybe I should thank the Lord that they started looking for a pituitary tumor, so they would find this cyst.  And maybe I should thank the Lord that it isn't some huge tumor in the middle of my brain, too.

For those of you who are wondering, most pineal gland cysts are benign, but there's no way to know for sure until part or all of it is removed and checked.



So now it's time for more waiting.  All of the above is just my own thoughts from my own research in response to the report.  The adrenal specialist (Dr. Ioachimescu--say that 5 times fast) has arranged for me to see a neurosurgeon at Emory (Dr. Oyesiku--think they're competing on who can have the most impossible-to-pronounce name) on November 1st, when I will find out what he thinks about all this and if I should have surgery or not.

Neurosurgery.  Just the word feels really . . . I don't know. . . big dealish.

So here I am, sitting at the computer when I should be sleeping, thinking about the fact that there is a blob in my head right at this moment that is possibly the reason I am often miserable.   There aren't many eloquent words coming to mind at present about that.  What keeps coming to mind is that's just weird.

(And just for the record, it helps me getting to talk to ya'll about it.  Thanks for listening!)

Life is a strange thing.  It is such a gift, and even the limitations God allows within it are a gift.  I'll talk about the gift part tomorrow.  In the meantime, I'll just quote some verses I've been memorizing from Psalm 71, "But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more . . . I will go in the strength of the Lord God."

Go where?  To Atlanta, to Emory, to find out what steps to take about this body I'm in.  But that's not the only going God would have me do.  He wants me to go toward peace and joy, toward faith and confidence that He will do what is best.

And so, because He is good, and because He has promised not to leave me or forsake me, I will go.  And I will go with hope.

21 comments:

  1. Kim, we may never know whose lives God is touching and is going to touch through all that you are going through right now. Many times he brings difficulties into our lives so that someone else can be touched through them. I still have that matching bracelet that I gave you and I pray for you every time I see it. Abby was cleaning and took it off my toothbrush holder. I am going to find it right now...because it reminds me everyday to pray for you! I love you so much my friend and I know God is using you in mighty ways that you don't even know...Keep looking to HIM and we will keep praying on this end!!

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    1. Was just going through this again and read your comment. Right now instead of thinking of my health condition, it made me think of you and losing your daddy. You are the one going through a difficult time right now, and I pray the Lord encourages your heart and covers you with His love.
      with love,
      kim

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  2. Oh Kim, I will be praying for you. I have been reading this blog and waiting to hear what you found out. I know God does have a plan, but ugh.. all that you have been through. Thanks for sharing your story, as Janice said, you never know who you may be helping or how God will use all that you have gone through for His Glory. You are an encouragement to me!

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  3. Wow Kimberly Rae,,, my girl. I dont know what to say but God sure has even bigger plans for you. Of course I am praying for you and I just say father thy will be done. For whatever reason he has allowed it of course it will be to bring glory to him. I know your strength and faith will inspire so many people as you just walking around with that beautiful smile and all the health issues you have endured amazes me. I wont say I am sorry because I know you wouldn't want sympathy but I am in prayer for you and know already He is using you at this moment to touch lives, all those Dr. around you as well. I love you girl and hopefully we can get together again soon for another show. Lets talk soon. Love ya Kimberly. oxoxoxoxox

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  4. Prayers, Kim! Thank you for your transparency and commitment to getting His message out here to impact lives in Jesus' Name!

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  5. Kim - I'm so glad I had a few moments this afternoon to catch up on your blog! Wow! It's hard to find more words at this point. My mind is spinning and still trying to process everything you shared. Of course, I'm sure you are even having a harder type adjusting! I will keep you in my prayers. It's amazing that you have reached out to me at a time when so much more critical things are going on in your life. I'm so glad I met you! Blessings ~ Michele

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  6. I pray that this will be a real breakthrough for you. That its treatment will really help you feel better! Love you, Kim!!

    Jenn Olachea

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  7. We will continue praying for you and for wisdom for the doctors in how to deal with this.
    Love & miss you all!
    Kim Olachea

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  8. Oh my, Kimberly! Praying for wisdom for you and your doctor. Emory is an excellent hospital. Wonderful doctors.

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  9. Kimberly, thank you for sharing your thoughts and fears for us. We can, and I will, take them to the cross on your behalf. Know you are being prayed for from your writing/cyber buddies. Hugs to you my friend.

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  10. Hello Kim,

    Guess what I have the same thing.. I am still waiting for my results from the doctor. I just got the images from the MRI center, they look very similar to yours. I am very nervous and wondering what is going to happen to me. Can you please provide me with an update on your condition and see how it resulted. I would like to know what to expect.



    God Bless,
    Sheyla

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  11. Hi Sheyla! Sorry you're going through this too! You said you have the same thing. Do you mean a peneal cyst? Or just abnormal results? Basically, the way it works usually is that if there's a cyst, such as in a the peneal gland, they just leave it there. In fact, a lot of women have them and just don't know it. They can cause symptoms, but most of the time they don't. If it's not a cyst, but rather a tumor, that's a different story of course.
    I'm headed down to Emory in April for a longer, more specialized MRI to make sure my cyst isn't a tumor.
    So tell me more about what your situation is, please. I'd love to help, so fill me in!
    kim

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  12. Yup, it could very well be that if this issue is dealt with that it will reduce the stress on your body and you will find yourself feeling much better. I'm praying. This would be a good time for Him to pull off a medical miracle!

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  13. Hi Kim,

    I just had the opportunity to read this entry. I too had a diagnosis of a chronic illness in 2011. I wrote about on my blog. I was diagnosed with MS. I went through all the same emotions but found strength through the word of God. Isn't it amazing how he helps us put life in perspective. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. stay strong girlfriend!!!

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    1. Hi Donna! So nice to "meet" you here. Thanks for sending some encouragement my way! I have a dear friend who has lived with MS for many years. Her blog is www.capacitycorner.blogspot.com if you want to go over and say hi. Also, I'm part of a facebook group for the "sick and tired" =) where we encourage each other in the Lord and give a place to vent without feeling like we're complaining. We'd love to have you!! It's at:
      https://www.facebook.com/groups/147614795374843/?ref=ts&fref=ts

      I hope your day is filled with the peace that doesn't make any sense, and that your joints feel okay too! What's your blog site so I can read your MS story?

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  14. Carol, thanks for the thought, but they decided they aren't going to touch it. Too risky. So, I get to live with this "ball in my brain" as my son puts it, and God willing, I will choose to be joyful! And the doctor is right that they could risk my life getting it out only to have it not change anything, so I'm trusting that the Lord gave them the wisest choice.

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  15. Hi Kimberly - I just read this post after stumbling over accidentally from another post. We're in an FB group together. :)

    They found three of these lil' guys in my brain too in 2008. I was falling apart pretty badly at the time (adrenal issues as you mention, fibro, chronic fatigue, insomnia, etc, etc, etc) and had been search for an answering for anywhere from 10-18 years depending on how you want to count it. Keep hoping in God. He is good. Even when the doctors couldn't find an answer, He finally led me to my diagnosis (after years of false negative tests) of late stage chronic Lyme Disease, Bartonella, and Babesiosis. The treatment was as scary as could be, but He walked me through it and has healed me of many things.

    I've had a few relapses, but praise God the cysts have not grown or caused any harm over the years. Just wanted to share that with you as I know it can be scary to find out there is something in your brain. I pray you will feel better too and that God will continue to bless your writing and bless others with it!

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    1. Wow, 3 of them. Yikes. That had to be overwhelming to hear! I'm glad you were able to finally get a diagnosis (having a rare condition makes it so much harder, doesn't it?) and the treatment is behind you. I wouldn't have picked these health problems, but now with my Sick & Tired books coming out, I see how He's going to use my weakness and limitations for His glory if I let Him. I'm so glad our purpose in life isn't based on our ability!
      Thanks for coming over and encouraging me! I don't think I've ever met anyone else who had one, as my 8-year-old puts it, "ball in my brain."
      God bless you with joy today!
      kim

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  16. Don't know why I didn't do this before, but THANK YOU so much to everyone who got on here and encouraged me. That was a difficult time, and your notes were such a blessing. So even if I didn't say so then, I appreciate you!

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  17. Kimberly, I popped over here after seeing that you were doing a bio on my dear friend Karen Bell, and I saw this post. It was exactly the encouragement that I needed tonight. I've been living with (fight against saying "suffering with") chronic health issues for over 25 years, and doctors still can't seem to find out how to treat me. I'm in the middle of being testing for pituitary issues right now after being diagnosed with a slew of other conditions over the past ten years. Lately, I've been at the point that I just don't see the point in acknowledging what's going on anymore. This morning, I stayed in bed late, listening to the rain and praying that I could have enough pain relief to get out of bed. I finally told God that I feel like I need to quit writing because I just don't have anything of value to offer. But I've learned to qualify those feelings by telling Him that if He has better plans, then I need Him to make it really obvious to me. As I read your post, I realized that once again I had let my emotions get in the way of His plan. I'm looking forward to reading more about your "sick and tired" posts.

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    1. Hi, Wendy! I am so happy you came over to visit! Thank you for sharing here. It's hard being sick, especially when you know it will never go away, and when people don't seem to take it seriously. It's a strange thing, when they can't figure out what is wrong, how after awhile people will come up with reasons that make them feel better, but not you! Don't quit!!!! Your unique perspective and experience with God through the trial of health problems is valuable, not just for you but for others. I so know what you mean about the emotions getting in the way. They can be our worst enemies at times--especially those nights you can't sleep or when the pain is bad. I hope this day is a good one for you, and I hope the Lord sends you some special encouragement today to remind you of how very much you are loved.

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